Thursday, March 20, 2003

Hi God,

If you've been listening to my rants for the past week, I'm sure You know that I'm not at all happy with the person I've become. I'm overly-competitive, whiny, malicious, way too stingy and calculating and a generally crappy person. I used to be nicer than this - but at the same time, being nice, especially in the company and industry I'm working in, is a sure-fire guarantee that my career will be short-lived. I'm not sure how to balance the two, Lord, and if you have any advice, and if you could offer some guidance, that sure would be appreciated. I really wish I had someone to talk to about this. I've got friends around, but it doesn't feel right to talk to anyone of them about how I feel, particularly since a fair number of them are my colleagues, and You know I never seem to be able to think before I say anything these days.

Actually, if you could give me a sign, any sign at all, that I'm not as alone as I've been feeling, that would be nice.

And God, while I'm at it, thanks for the Palm. Unexpected, but not unappreciated.

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