Tuesday, November 04, 2003

You want to know why I'm still angry, still mad, still full of fury and rage?

It's simple. It's so incredibly simple that I'm amazed you couldn't see it. It strikes at the very heart of me. It's what makes me me.

I don't like feeling as though I'm just another notch on your bedpost. I want you to be a good, trustworthy guy with whom I have this amazing connection and who honestly thought of me as someone special, who is almost good enough for me to not regret everything I've done... and not what seems to be the real you: a slimeball, who if I had stuck to my guns and just said no, would have moved on to the next girl who you could get drunk.

How can you constantly tell me that I'm special, and that you miss me dearly... and then turn around and just shag someone else... while in a relationship with yet another girl?

Yes, you did tell me that you had a "medium-term girlfriend" but that for me, you'd always be available. Why did I choose only to hear the latter? If I had realised - for one second - that you considered her your girlfriend at that point in time, I would just have called it quits after dinner. Do you not understand what being a boyfriend entails?

And so, it comes down to this. Was what we had just some cheap affair? Was I just someone convenient to have around so that you didn't need to go hunting or go without every night? Did I ever truly mean anything to you?

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