Sunday, February 29, 2004

I went to Mass yesterday due to my rather packed schedule today and the priest's homily really got to me. He was lecturing on the sin of mediocrity, that is, the sin of not striving for the best, and instead, settling for something less than what we can achieve.

Until yesterday, I wasn't even aware that there existed such a sin. And when the priest began his homily, I was a little surprised. After all, I'd been thinking that perhaps, it's not so bad to be less than perfect. That perhaps, by accepting that I can settle for less than perfection, I needn't be so hard on myself and my work, and that whatever I did would still be good enough. Apparently, this isn't so. Or rather, this is so but if and only if I have put in all of my effort into the work that I've done instead of holding back and committing only half the effort I could have done, knowing full well that I'd still be able to do an adequate job with the lessened amount of effort I put in.

I'd also begun to think that maybe I could lower my expectations of people, that I could settle for less than the best in my expectations of my friends and of potential lovers. But now, after the homily and after the "I'm worth a lot" e-mail I received a few weeks ago, I've realised that while sometimes it may be difficult for others to come up to my expectations, nevertheless, if I am putting in all the effort into our relationships, then it's only fair that they do the same. I shouldn't need to lower my standards to accommodate their lack of effort.

At the same time, I shouldn't compromise my own levels of quality when it comes to work and other such endeavours. A couple of years ago, I used to think that it would be good if I could say that I never give less than my best and mean it with all my heart.

I need to get back into the habit of believing that once again.

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