Conversation between a young couple sitting right behind me while on the bus yesterday:

My thoughts are in brackets.

Female: I'm sorry about what I said earlier. Does this change your impression of me?
Male: I mean, sometimes I think with my other head (here, I have to restrain myself from turning around just to check if he's pointing it out.) but...
Female: I'm not a bad girl. I mean [mumble mumble].
Male: You're talking about the devil and the deep blue sea. (I'm like, WTF? What kind of an expression is that?) I mean, you're comparing well... two immoral things.
Female: [defensive blabber]
Male: I'm not looking for a bad girl. I'm looking for one to keep.
Female: I'm not a bad girl. I don't do drugs.
Male: You're talking about extremities. (Here, I found myself thinking, what's this got to do with fingers and toes? Oh.... he means "extremes". Why is their English so bad?)
Female: Look, are you worried I'll do something stupid or that I'll leave you?
Male: Are you trying to elicit a response from me? Or is this a... foreshadowing of what's to come? Look, I know the Lit term.
Female: There's no such word as foreshadowing, only foreshadow. (Yes, there is such a word, what is wrong with the linguistic abilities of both of you?)

At this point, I'm thinking, maybe both of them should apply to join MediaCorp. Goodness knows their scriptwriting abilities are about the same standard.