Amidst all the financial turmoil - which is now spilling over into the real economy - who would have thought that I'd have managed to find happiness in one aspect of my life? MD and I have only been together "in title" (as a friend put it) for a few months, but, already I'm much happier than I've been in previous relationships. Given how strongly he and I feel about each other, my feelings about the relationship itself veer between terror and joy.
He makes me happy. Very, very happy. At the same time, I'm scared because I don't think I've felt this strongly about someone so soon. We have mitigating and unusual circumstances; we see each other everyday and it's weird when a day goes by without one of us talking in some way, shape or form with the other. I guess that explains in part why our relationship seems to have progressed rather speedily.
Of course it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm a little paranoid that something burning still strongly and brightly just means it'll burn out sooner than it otherwise would have had we allowed it to slow down. MD's been wonderful whenever I had these mini-freak-outs, reminding me that we started out as people who got along incredibly well and that, if anything ever happened, we'll still be great friends.
At the same time, it feels natural for us to be planning things to do together months in advance. Neither he nor I have any fears that we won't be getting along and all that jazz. It's such a novel feeling.
Right now, I just feel so incredibly happy and blessed that we're together, regardless of what the future holds. It's early days yet, as we like to say, but they have been wonderfully happy days.