Monday, April 02, 2012

April Foolish

I’m not sure what the aim of this post is other than to be a general update as to my personal situation. For me, it's just a chance for me to blow off some steam, so if you're new to this blog, this may not be the best post for you to start with.

In some sense, I guess 2012 has been steadily getting better. Of course, given the circumstances in which I started the year, it wasn’t exactly hard anything at all to be an improvement. Still, when March began, I was just so glad to see the back of February, having felt my lowest in a while, as the festive season glow wore off and the reality of my joblessness set in.

Was March any better? I suppose it was, if you count that I met up with three potential employers, one of which was through my first ever speculative application ever, and all of whom seem to be good fits for me, and I, them. Still, I’m waiting to hear back on them, and I’m dreadfully afraid anything I say on record will jinx things, so, suffice it to say that, at this point in time, I am still reasonably optimistic about them.

Other than the job-front, I’ve been doing reasonably well. I’ve gotten back into blogging more regularly. I’ve launched a new series of blog posts based on what I love, for whatever good it does me, and I’ve met some really nice people. All in all, I’ve just felt happier, in spite of the various ailments that I’m suffering from.

Ah, the ailments. Where should I start? Some time in late February, I fell ill with a bad case of the flu which took about three weeks to clear up. I also managed to injure my knee (by damaging my posterior cruciate ligament) in a most mundane incident. Needless to say, I’m no longer practising yoga and have, until recently, been off dance. I’m still recovering, and I’m still meant to take it easy, and I still have to attend weekly sports massage sessions in order to rehabilitate my muscles. Lastly, my eczema’s flared up to the point that I’m not able to sleep some nights. As a result, I’ve stocked up on eczema remedies, ranging from probiotics to flax seed oil to natural moisturisers. I’ve been told that perhaps this is my body’s way of finally working out all the stress in my system now that I’ve finally managed to relax.

But, as you might imagine, the last two haven’t exactly been easy-going on my finances, so I don’t see how my body’s reactions, if these are indeed due to that, are helping me in any way. An additional strain on my savings and depriving me of sleep aren’t exactly the best ways of helping me recover.

A friend told me that she really admired just how positive I’ve managed to remain during this whole time, how I’ve just kind of accepted what life’s thrown at me and knuckled down to do what it is I have to do in order to get out of this situation I’m in right now. I’m glad that’s the image I’ve managed to project. At the moment, I’m well aware that my grasp on happiness or maybe just positive thinking is a little tenuous. I’m still optimistic because I know full well that employers are taking longer than usual to get back to candidates as a result of internal processes. But, I’m not sure how I’ll feel if I get the rejection, because there’s no hope once you get to that stage.

But, for the moment, I’m trying my best to remain upbeat.  Only time will tell whether I’m being the ultimate April Fool.

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