Phew, it’s actually starting to feel like summer. Who would have thought? Be sure to put on your sunglasses and sunblock, people. You wouldn’t want to miss out on anything because you’ve been unfortunate enough to get sunburnt!
Be sure to check out The Accidental Guide To Enjoying Life While Unemployed (Part 1 and 2) while you’re here. Even if you’ve the good fortune to not be in the same situation as I’m in, it’s still chockfull of useful advice and tips.
- Zoe Lewis’ one-woman play Touched… Like a Virgin, a somewhat unusual look at the classic dilemma of the thirty-something female, begins its three-week run this week. Sadie Frost stars as Lesley from Manchester who falls in love with the power of Madonna in 1984, only to feel abandoned when the singer settles down. Soho Theatre, till Jun 9th, 7.45pm, £10 (previews, May 22nd and 23rd) / £20 (all other dates)
- Milton Jones, king of one-liners, explains why he would make the best Mayor of London. He’s already got the crazy hair and the loud shirts, so I don’t see how we could go any worse than indulging his ideas to tackle obesity by making the doors to chip shops really narrow. Udderbelly, May 22nd, 9.00 pm, £17.50
- Make this week the week in which to check out Yoyo, one of London’s longer running nights. Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade have been hosting this night that mixes cutting-edge and classic tunes, featuring live acts and DJs, for close to a decade now. Entrance is by guest list only so apply as early as you’re able to. Notting Hill Arts Club, May 24th, 7.30 pm (doors), £5 (before 11.00 pm) / £7 (after)
- Controversial comic Frankie Boyle will be trialling new material at the Soho Theatre and Hen & Chickens on Thursday and Friday respectively. Say what you will about the man, but he is incredibly quick on his feet. Tickets for the latter venue will go on sale on the day itself. Soho Theatre, May 24th, 11.15 pm, £5 / Hen & Chickens, May 25th, 9.30 pm, £5
- Square Eyes is a TV event offering the opportunity to hear from some of the key figures in the industry, as well as to talk about the best and worst shows. May’s event features Kayvan Novak (Fonejacker, Four Lions) and Jimmy Mulville (founder and MD of Hat Trick Productions). There’ll also be a TV-themed pub quiz with £100 up for grabs. Roxy Bar & Screen, May 23rd, 7.30pm, £5
- LoCo & Soda Pictures presents Manhattan on Leonard St, a live comedy event to commemorate the forthcoming release of Woody Allen: A Documentary. There’ll be cocktails, a live jazz trio and, of course, stand-up comedy from Josh Howie and Sara Pascoe, among others. Be among the first 3o to turn up in a Woody-inspired outfit to receive a free Manhattan cocktail. The Book Club, May 24th, 7.30 pm (d00rs), £4.50
- The latest clubbing trend – Lunchtime Disco – has finally hit London. Featuring an eclectic and always danceable music policy, this is the place to go if you feel like starting your weekend early, or, face it, are feeling your age and still want to be able to get to bed while still throwing some shapes. Drink, Shop, Do, May 25th, 12 noon to 3 pm, free
- Celebrate Douglas Adams’ birthday by attending the 2nd annual Vogon Poetry Slam, a commemoration of the galaxy’s third-worst form of poetry. Be warned that there are two categories: nerdcore and so-bad-it’s-good. I’m not big on poetry, but if I had to listen to it, I guess the only way is Vogon. Hackney Picturehouse, May 25th, 7.30 pm, £3 (in costume or with towel) /£5
- Join in on Erin Morgenstern’s paperback launch of her debut novel, The Night Circus, a tale of love and magic in a mysterious circus which only appears at night. There’ll bve stilt-walkers and a contortionist as well! Foyle’s, Westfield Stratford Circus, May 26th, 2.00 pm to 5.00 pm, free
- King Britt, techno DJ, producer and co-founded of Ovum Records along with Josh Wink, will be headlining Simmer. Mark Pavitt, brains behind the more secret than secret Lift^Party, will be providing support. If you can’t wait that long, King Britt will be performing on the Boiler Room website on May 23rd. Basing House, May 25th, 9.00 pm (doors), £8 /£10 / £12 (at the door)
- I know Eurovision isn’t taken all that seriously in England. For me, it’s been a somewhat fascinating insight into the politics of Europe, as well as awe at the WTF-ness of it all. Last year’s Moldovan Beastie Boy Garden Gnomes performance springs to mind. So, dress up to represent the country you’re supporting and join in on Sink The Pink’s Eurovision Special. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, May 26th, 7.00 pm (doors, show starts at 8.00 pm), £5 (before 10.00 pm) / £7
- Cheryl, the four-member Brooklyn-based artist collective, returns to London for its fourth party here. Renowned for its museum installations and dance parties (which promise to “ruin your life”), a Cheryl party is not to be missed. Tonight’s theme is “Secret Dazzler” so go as glittery as you dare. Shacklewell Arms, May 26th, 8.00 pm (Eurovision screening), 11.00 pm party, £6
- I’d be remiss in not paying homage to my clubbing roots if I didn’t mention the massive Saturday Sessions party with Sasha & M.A.N.D.Y this weekend. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t been all that impressed by Sasha live (and I’ve seen him four times) but he is a legend and a pioneer, as is M.A.N.D.Y so you probably can’t go wrong with this night! Ministry of Sound, May 26th, 11.00 pm (doors), £20
- Learn how to dance in a day with Swing Patrol, just in time for next week’s London Swing Festival. You may not be a master of the fine art of six and eight count after this, but you sure will be able to move. Brixton Arts House, May 27th, 12.30 pm to 5.45 pm, £28