Jobs, schmobs

I’ve been struggling with writing an update as to how my job hunt has been going. I’ve got what quite a few people would consider as good news, but, personally, I’ve just been feeling rather ‘meh’. I’ll do my best to lay out what’s occurred but I’m sure you’ll understand if I have to leave out some details.

I was told by the company I’m contracting for that they wanted to make me a permanent offer some weeks ago.

I was happy, but it was tempered, because, a week earlier, my line manager, who had just come back from vacation, told me that he was still interviewing for the permanent position, but wanted to let me know that I’d been doing a good job, and didn’t want me to think he was going behind my back. This was followed by his asking if I was interested and a bit of a throwaway remark along the lines of “We’ll be interviewing the candidate… if it goes well, there’ll be a second round interview, and I’ll let you know what you need to do then.”

What was I meant to think following that conversation? There were two things that really offended me there: 1) that he asked if I was interested after telling me he was still interviewing, 2) that his throwaway remark just sounded like “if he’s good, we’ll put you two through the rounds, if he’s crap, we’ll keep you.”

On 1), I understand every company has the right to continue looking even when they have an interim contractor in place, and I totally understand that, but I would have preferred for him to have asked me first, then said, “of course, we still have to interview externally”. It’s just polite, and shows that I’m not a mere afterthought.

2) is self explanatory.

Then, a week later, he relented, I guess, and offered me the job outright. If it weren’t for the fact that some senior people within the company had got in touch with me to let me know that I had their support, I would have thought he made the offer because the candidate did indeed turn out to be crap, so small mercies.

I got the terms and conditions of the offer last week, and let’s just say they didn’t blow my mind. The pay they’re offering? For my level, I should be receiving 15% more in basic salary. Yes, there is an allowance component which I receive, but I don’t give much weight to allowances, as I’ve seen them cut before.

I was pretty damn upset. I spoke to my global manager, who acknowledged that the pay was low and that she too should be receiving more but that the job allowed her flexible hours, something I didn’t need.

There were other opportunities I’d obviously been pursuing. That company has yet to finish its first-round interviews, despite the fact that it’s been over a month since I spoke to them, so I don’t know where I stand, as they only give feedback after they can compare everyone.

Another role which I’d really wanted to at least be considered for went to my former subordinate. What really surprised me about that though was that, as far as I can figure out, the offer was made to her before I was even approached for the role. It seriously bummed up out, because it’s generally acknowledged I’m a better fit as I have a wider breadth and more in-depth experience. To be perfectly frank, when I was approached for the role, I didn’t even think I was senior enough for what they were looking for!

All of this contributed to my feeling very down. I’ve worked hard throughout my career. I so very much want to feel as if I’ve managed to get somewhere, and not as if I’ve failed somewhere along the way.

Still, if there’s anything to take away from this, it’s that I should never ever doubt myself.

So what am I doing? I’ll be accepting the offer. I recognise it gives me the opportunity to get back into the game and close off the gap in my CV. I’ll get to experience a company undergoing a lot of change, so there’ll be plenty of ad hoc projects to work on.

And I’ll continue to keep an eye out for opportunities which recognise what I have to offer. At the very least, I can take a bit of a breather now.