Happiness

I've realised that I tend to blog less frequently when I am happy. I'm usually happy when I've got loads to do, so that may be one reason, though, recently, I've (reluctantly) acknowledged that I've gotten to a stage where I prefer going to dinner and house parties, compared to clubbing all night. I'm maturing. It had to some time!

There's been a lot going on over the last few months in every aspect of my life. I've attended a number of West Coast Swing (WCS) workshops and events and just grown more confident in my dancing ability, I've progressed in yoga, I've had to make a number of tough calls at work but, at the very least, stuck to my principles, and, of course, there's the wedding planning. There's also been the first proper holiday we've been able to take in over a year.

Mostly, I think it's been a combination of just getting better at the things I've been working at, and, also connecting and re-connecting with other people.
How so? Well:

1. Dance - I've noticed I've been able to do more, even if it's just little embellishments or hitting the music at the right time. There's been one guy at class who has told me I've improved quite a bit over the last few months, although I'm well aware that I still have a lot to work on. But, I suppose the main thing has been getting up the courage to dance with professionals. Yesterday night was one such night, when the pro I danced with who told me that I "felt like I was in the dance" and was doing well. It's never been about being the best dancer, really. It's more about being the best dancer one can be, and simply enjoying myself, and I'm finding the proportion of the night that I'm happy is starting to outweigh the proportion of time I feel insecure about myself, and that can only be a good thing.


2. Yoga - Now, this is an interesting one. I haven't progressed in terms of the number of postures I do at self-practice every morning, but what I have done is noticed an improvement overall in the openness of my hips, and, more recently, my ability to get up into a headstand by myself. I'd managed to get into Lotus position some months ago (September, just before my six-month anniversary, I think), and my teacher just told me how happy he was that I could do that, and that seeing how far I had come really reinforced his belief in what yoga could do for people and sometimes brought tears to his eyes. Now, he's not a hippie, emotional kind of yoga guru, so that was really nice to hear. A couple of weeks after that, I was working on my backbend - a move I really do not enjoy - and after I finished it, he said, "Now, you, like everyone else here, have your own issues to deal with, but what you have is a strong mind, and that has really helped you." I haven't really thought about it, to be honest. If he tells me to try something, I try it, no questioning, no excuses. I'm sure I'll reach a posture when I will balk eventually - one in which I might face-plant, for example - but, for now, I'm happy and am putting in the effort on the mat.


3. Work - I've had to handle several difficult situations recently. It's tough when you need to be the voice of reason, and also having to balance what we need to do in an ideal world with what needs to be done the real world. Still, I think I've done well and I'm glad that I didn't hesitate to stand up to people more senior than I am when I had to.


4. Life - Honestly? I've been incredibly happy since I came back from holiday two weeks ago. I'm not sure why exactly, but I think it was a combination of finally getting a proper break, and also reconnecting with old friends - and just old friends. My fiance said that it's nice to see me so relaxed and open when I am around my friends, because I'm not always like that when I'm in London. If there's another person around that I don't know as well, I tend to be more reserved, and it was nice to just be able to chat with friends for hours and hours and hours about anything and everything, and still have that strong a friendship despite living on different continents. Also, it's been nice to realise that I'm making friends here in London too. We've been invited to a number of dance outings - house parties and the like - and it's been really refreshing. At first, I was surprised to realise that people wanted to hang out with us... heck, I'm still surprised, but it's been nice to realise that I'm part of a community now, rather than on the peripheries.

So, there you have it. A potted summary of why it is that I've been so happy over the last few weeks. I hadn't expected it to last as long as it has, but, damn, I'll take it.