Monday, August 31, 2015

Wedding Planning – the process

There are so many aspects of a wedding that anyone could ever write about. I had been meaning to do so over the last few months, more to keep in blogging practice, as opposed to sharing any real information and insight, although if I did manage to do so in the process, then, of course, that would be a happy bonus.

With less than two weeks to go, I am not sure what precisely to focus on:
  • The list of places that we shortlisted and visited during our visit to Singapore in November?
  • How we went about preparing for a Catholic wedding in Singapore from overseas? (Yes, despite the Catholic church being universal, there are some differences that neither we nor our priests grasped when we embarked on this.)
  • Our vetting process for vendors – and how my fiancé’s and my thought processes differed? (I’m more research, he’s more just do.)
  • The dress shops I visited?
  • Budgeting?
  • The things that I found really useful?
  • How I found out how useless I am at making decisions about utterly inconsequential things? I spent weeks looking at bridesmaids’ gifts and am not entirely sure whether I still want to get what I thought I wanted to get. When I finished Googling for them, I went to Etsy and eBay and then finally to BrideStory. I spent months agonising over which make-up artist to go with and decided to go with the one more of my friends disliked simply because I went with my gut, rather than choosing the safe path.

Or simply the fact that it is so damn difficult to find time for yourself during the whole wedding planning process and that perhaps I should have been willing to let something go – or heck, even hire a wedding planner because all the hours I have spent on this must be worth more than 10% of my wedding budget surely? It has been so difficult to tame the different warring aspects of myself, particularly the need to be different but also to make sure the ones important to me are happy.

Looking back at just how little time I have had to truly relax, I am amazed I decided to apply to be a Lovette for Love My Dress earlier in the year. I am glad I wasn’t successful but I am also glad that I gave it the best shot that I could.

Incidentally, wedding blogs and Instagram feeds are great for inspiration, but terrible if you’re not particularly creative, time-rich or money-rich. Weddings that get featured on places like Style Me Pretty, Love My Dress, Rock My Wedding and The Wedding Scoop? They’re fantastic and deserve to be featured on the blogs.

But, if beautiful weddings are the only kind of weddings that you see, it makes it very difficult for yourself when the only things you can get seem so terribly ordinary.

And, you know what? There’s nothing wrong with ordinary. Having the most beautiful wedding in the world means nothing if it’s not about you two and the love you have for each other. So what if my friends aren’t willing to join me in a silly choreographed wedding dance? So what if I’m not able to fold a thousand cranes so that I can get an incredible hanging crane garland? So what if I’m not able to get a photo booth with customised props because it won’t fit in our budget?

My fiancé and I have acknowledged a month ago that even if we did nothing at all from then until the wedding day, we would still be in a good place. The wedding would still take place. The Nuptial Mass would still run smoothly. Our wedding banquet would still be filled with people important to us, the food would still be tasty and music would still be played. We would still have our first dance, to the song we’d chosen over a year ago.

And this, with the exception of collecting and sending out the invitations, has been done largely by the two of us. Yes, we have had some help and advice, but the origination and execution of ideas has been done by us, and that, in itself, is still a big achievement given our ordinary, working lives.

At the end of the day, he and I will have said “I do”, we will be wed and we can start on planning the rest of our lives together. That’s really all that matters.

It’s easy to forget amidst all the stress and pressure of trying to please others or your own inner critic.

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