It's been a long time since I've gone clubbing two nights in a row... I actually feel like I'm too... old to be able to handle it, and I'm getting a little bored with allegedly one of the top three clubs in the world. I have nothing against it, it's just that I... want something different. I need more variety in my life, more friends to go out with, and while I know plenty of people, it's just that a lot of them aren't in the same country I'm in now. I miss the quirkiness of the people I used to hang out with - mah bitches, or mah crew, if you prefer ghetto-speak (which I miss as well!)

Last night wasn't too great - for every girl, I saw nine guys, and while you might think that that's good news for me since I'm decidedly straight, the thing is over half them were obviously gay. And not even the good-looking kind of guy, just the small, scrawny, in some cases old and disgusting, gay.

Who are you when the lights go out? That was the theme for Lawler's Lights Out tour. It's an intriguing concept, I've got to admit. And as a (closet) fan of darkness, it appeals to me. I'm afraid of the dark, but when I'm with someone, or rather, a certain someone, it certainly does have its moments. For instance, I remember the darkness of my high school field celebrating the Mid-Autumn festival with the guy who would eventually become my boyfriend just over five years ago. I haven't spoken to him in a while, and hopefully, we're still friends, but that is one of my cherished memories of better times.

Moving back to the question, I'm a pretty different person once the lights are out and the music gets going, or so I'm told. I'm not the shy, reserved, quiet, almost angelic girl you see when the sun's out. On the other hand, I'm not wild either. I love to dance, and dancing, whether solo or with a partner, is just that - dancing. It doesn't mean anything to me, although I do understand that other people, particularly the guys in the clubs, might feel otherwise.

I'd expound on this, but dinner calls.