Sunday, January 19, 2003

I guess, in a continuation of the night before, I just had to wake up in the middle of the night, filled with desire, frustration and a whole lot of guilt.

I haven't told anyone this but I'm dreading the day I get married. I'm terrified of what the wedding night will hold. I guess terrified is too strong a word, but I am a little apprehensive. I just feel like it's so much easier to not have to worry so much about how you can be a good Catholic and still be... human at the same time.

I guess that's why I prefer throwing myself into work and my hobbies, rather than let myself get involved with other people. Relationships are not my strong point. I tend to get too involved, and as a result, get hurt far too easily. I'd rather be by myself suffer from loneliness than be with someone and still suffer from loneliness.

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