I hate searching for cheap flights to Europe, especially given the recent announcement that Al-Qaeda had planned to hijack a plane from London's Heathrow or Gatwick Airport in order to plow it into a major landmark in September.

Damn it, guys, I'm trying to go on holiday here. Can't you delay your plans till Christmas? That'll make it especially poignant.

I apologise. Gallows humour helps me keep my head on straight and maintain my perspective on life. I'm just so damn frustrated trying to find a return flight to London or Paris that costs less than 450 pounds, inclusive of taxes. The German exploration is going to tax my already-strained finances, as it is.