Sunday, October 26, 2003

Ah, the power of positive thinking. I'm feeling better now. I guess it was just a temporary glitch, the kind when you're reacting to an unexpected shock, and had had no time to prepare for. But now... I guess I'm okay. I was just kind of blindsided earlier today by everything.

I've also utilised the power of logical thinking here. What could I have done anyway? I'm here, he's there, that's that.

And while there's a part of me that's an old-school romantic, there's also another side of me that's been becoming a bit more of the modern man-eating woman, a trend which is regretably not at all desirable in a Catholic, but at least, hey, I'm not planning to have any one-night stands with people. I'm not planning to let any guy get that far.

The problem with being in a completely chaste relationship is that you have to look for a lot of rather... ordinary qualities in people - intelligence, personality, charisma, looks, sense of humour... and not the physical chemistry, since that tends to accelerate the pace of a relationship beyond what a good Catholic should allow. A pity since it's the last quality which makes everything so exciting, so worth trying out.

In any case, remember the guy who I'd been agonising about a few weeks back? He's been sick. Not seriously ill, but bad enough to have had to rest the last few weeks. As such, I haven't really been talking to him - he's not allowed to talk, according to the doctors anyway - and I've been given some time to think everything over. And guess what? It seems like the irrational fear has gone away and that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to give this another shot.

But I do like being single, unattached and able to do anything I want. Oriental females who go out with Caucasian men are usually not shrinking violets in bed, as a local newspaper reported a few weeks back, and I certainly do feel that same attitude now... and not just towards after-dark activities!


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