Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Have been in a rather bipolar mood today. Was very high most of the working day (not just due to the clubbing on Mon night/Tues morning but also because of the strong Lavazza coffee I drank) but towards the end of the day, I had a mini-meltdown over an assignment which is due this Friday but which no one has given me any feedback on. It's my first assignment and no one's been telling me what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong and I'm just so freakin' worried that I almost broke down and cried. It's only because I was in the office that the tears didn't flow. But they did when I came back home.

It's a vicious cycle. Sometimes I get rather depressed and stressed by work. I don't know whether I'm doing well, or if I'm doing badly. I'm very very worried about the latter. Then, I think that I'm old enough and have been through enough to know better than to freak out over work, over not being able to handle assignments and stuff like that. But thinking like that only makes it worse... like you start to think "What's wrong with me? Why can't I handle all this? I'm close to being 23 for goodness's sake, and I'm freaking out over this?!"

Yes, I'm scared. Work scares me. It stresses me out tremendously.

Thank goodness that today, I finally stopped being such a private individual, and confessed this to one of my good friends.

No comments: