I watched Troy today. It was clunky and a bit unwieldy (nearly three hours long!) but was nonetheless, a good watch, if only for the beautifully sculpted bodies of Brad Pitt and Eric Bana, and the good looks of Sean Bean.

I do realise that the siege on Troy was a protracted one, but still, there are far too many battle scenes in this movie. Even though I knew the ending of The Lord of the Rings, having read the trilogy, I was far more moved by the fights shown in LotR than in anything in Troy. Even during the one-on-one battle between Pitt's Achilles and Bana's incredibly heroic and noble Hector which results in Hector's death, I didn't feel sad at all. The only time I felt at all emotionally involved was when Peter O'Toole's Priam, father of Hector, goes to Achilles to beg for return of the body of his son. He's at once dignified, subtle, broken and pleading. I found myself crying when he quietly told Achilles, "I loved my son from the moment he opened his eyes to the moment you closed them."

Paris, as played by Orlando Bloom, is a pansy-assed, lily-livered ponce. I was a little upset that someone like him could have such a honourable, loving brother who would eventually pay the ultimate price for his brother's folly of having seduced Helen, Queen of Sparta and Menelaus's wife. I couldn't see what it was that Helen found in him that she fell for, other than the fact that she felt trapped in Sparta since she had been forced into marrying Menelaus at a rather young age. There was virtually no chemistry whatsoever between Bloom and Diane Kruger. At one point, he tells her, "If you come, we'll never be safe. Men will hunt us, the gods will curse us, but I'll love you. Until the day they burn my body, I'll love you." I may be a romantic, but I scoffed like hell at that line. I was like, "Bastard. Like that's sufficient compensation."

By now, you should be able to guess who my favourite character in the show is... Hector! Not-at-all bad-looking, great bod, noble, maganimous, righteous without being smug... he would be any girl's dream guy. I hated The Incredible Hulk immensely, but Eric Bana has redeemed himself in my eyes with his wonderful performance as the conflicted, just, fair, dutiful son of Priam and leader of the army of Troy. If you think I'm biased, just check out this review.

Incidentally, I felt Saffron Burrows (Andromache, Hector's wife) was more beautiful than Helen. Helen is more attractive and striking, I grant you that, but Burrows played Andromache with dignity. Her love for Hector is very strong and we can see the bond between them every time they're in a scene together. The grief that she displays when Hector is killed, and subsequently during Hector's funeral, is palpable.

Memorable Quotes
Achilles: He killed my cousin!
Priam: He thought it was you. How many cousins have you killed? How many fathers and brothers and sons and husbands, how many, brave Achilles?
(Hey. I felt it had to be said.)

Achilles: It changes nothing, you're still my enemy come morning.
Priam: You're still my enemy tonight, but even enemies can show respect.

Achilles: Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again.