While watching a 6-year-old boy play the drums outside Paragon yesterday:
Me: I'm jealous. I've always wanted to play the drums.
C.: Aiyah, the 'father' probably kidnapped the kid from Cambodia and is just using him to make money and meet babes. Then, when all this is over, he'll go home, throw the kid into a dark room and give him one slice of bread to eat and that's it.
Me: You're such an evil bastard. Look, the kid's eating something now...
C.: That's just for show. (in the kid's direction) Enjoy it while you can! Then... bread!

Earlier on in the day, I found myself playing with C.'s cow while sitting in his Alfa Romeo.
Me: It's so cute! Can I stick it in the window and make it dance at the other drivers?
C.: No. You can only do that if this were a Toyota. Don't ruin the image of Alfa Romeo drivers.