We've run into a bit of trouble with our performance for the dinner and dance. We don't have a budget (as opposed to not having sufficient budget) so we weren't able to do a lot of things. What's the point of getting quotations from people if you don't have any figure when you don't even know if we'll be able to pay anything?

So, as you may have guessed, in spite of my initial protestations, I have been dragged into helping out with our performance. I almost got away with not doing much other than a non-singing, non-dancing role in our piece when the president of the organising committee (who I happened to dance with at the company party last year) cast his eye over the list of names and roles, looked it over a few times before asking where my name was. One of the other co-ordinators said, "Why? Can she dance?" His response? "Can she dance?! That's like asking, 'can she breathe?!?'" And that was that. One hour later, I had been co-opted into a dancing role.

Then, we found out that we didn't have any money, so we wouldn't be able to hire a choreographer. The inevitable happened. People asked if I could do it. No way. I may have learnt different kinds of dance, but asking me to choreograph a piece is like asking someone who knows how to play the piano whether he can compose. And as I flat out told them, without money, we can't do anything.

So off to the big boss they went to plead for a budget. His response, especially after hearing that the big boss of the floor below us was indeed forking out for the performance his guys were doing, was "don't commit, but don't hold back."

I doubt even the greatest minds of any generation could make sense of that. The response of my colleagues? One of them proclaimed, "Don't commit, but don't hold back. Those are the words of an idiot." I'm guessing he wasn't very impressed either.

So, here we are, stuck, because all the other departments are putting up performances. Meanwhile, the dinner and dance is less than two weeks away, and time draws ever shorter, making it even more expensive if we were to hire someone now.