Conversation with a colleague back home over the company's IM system:

Me: I’ve got a question about so-and-so.
Him: Thought you were dead.
Me: Well, I am feeling a little ill… but why did you think I was dead?!
Him: Out of sight, out of mind.
Me: Just you wait, one more week, and the peace and quiet you'd have enjoyed for the last few weeks will be gone, like dust in the wind.
Him: We're not sure we want you back. We're gonna have a vote tomorrow.
Me: Hey!
Him: Could go either way.
Me: Then why am I getting a new laptop?
Him: Parting gift.
Me: Well, could have gotten worse, I suppose.