Monday, October 30, 2006

In reference to the dilemma that's currently dominating my personal life, I have told one or two of my friends what I'm thinking and that I'm actually thinking about tackling it head-on, as opposed to ignoring it and hoping it'll go away (which it will, but when, will be dependent on how soon I meet someone I really like). One of my friends, who's getting married in December, said to me in dismay, "Love is already difficult enough for people like us. Why would you want to make it even harder for yourself by adding such a degree of complexity to your life?"

I responded that I wasn't necessarily thinking about it as a serious thing, but just something where I know I'll have fun, regardless of whatever happens.

He didn't believe me. I know what he - and one of my other friends - think. Why bother prolonging the agony and possibly destroying a happy experience? Why not just get on with life here?

Because I'm tired of not living life enough, of not getting out there and making my own chances. Granted, this may not be the ideal opportunity to begin doing there, but... I've got to start somewhere. And yes, I've watched far too many romantic movies.

Honestly, though, I hate to admit that someone I barely know has had such an impact on me, to the point where I'm still thinking about him a couple of months later. I feel silly and stupid for even contemplating this. And I know there are some people who may read this and know what - and who - I'm talking about, but I'd rather not have my friends ask me about this without my bringing it up. Like I said, I feel pathetic enough without having to admit this to people I know.

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