Friday, October 24, 2008

I will be leaving the Big Smoke for the Big Apple in a couple of hours. Instead of feeling happy and excited - as I had been in the past few days - I am feeling seven kinds of crap right now, because MD and I unexpectedly split this morning. It wasn't anything to do with us, or the differences in our personalities and characters. He and I love each other and love each other very much. Rather, it had to do with a certain parent hating me, although she has never met me.

It's not the first time I've encountered this in a relationship, but I hope it will be the last. It's not an issue I feel I can ever fight against; in a battle of girlfriend vs. mother, I am entirely aware of how the odds are stacked.

MD has proposed something else rather than us being in an exclusive relationship to get around the parental constraints. It's something my heart jumps at because I dearly want us to continue, but my head says that if this isn't going anywhere, I should just get out while I can.

I can't really think about it right now. I haven't slept in over 30 hours and I've been crying my heart out since we broke up.

I really hope this vacation will clear my head. Surely the charm and magic of New York can alleviate the heaviest of heartaches?

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