Sunday, September 05, 2010

Who would have thought my blogging frequency would have decreased to the extent it has since I got back from Singapore and returned to the privacy of my flat? I'd love to say it was because I had a ton of cool, fun things to do, but, sadly, that would be incorrect, although I did have a dance-tastic August, which has since been followed by a sick beginning to September. That, coupled with early mornings and late working hours, has also done its bit to decimate me. Maybe JC was right when he said I shouldn't have told my boss I was feeling unchallenged at work!

On that note, I should be thrilled that I'm working on some really important projects for my company, but I'm not. Yes, I'm working on high-profile things, but it's not the visibility that I hated about the work before. It was the nature of the work. I like writing but I wish my main job wasn't to write papers about everything and mail them out to people to read and comment on. I really want to get out there and manage projects from implementation to execution, whether they're strategic transactions or internal parties. That's what I loved about my job in Singapore, and what got me through the mundaneness of the rest of my job. Now, I don't even have that.

I keep telling myself that all of this must surely pay off somewhere along the way. I'll get the chance to move on to something different within this company which has so much potential - but also, a hell of a lot of obstacles to realising that potential - because they'd hate to lose this person who's done such a great job for them. Then, reality kicks in, and I realise, if I do such a great job at what I'm doing now, why on earth would they ever let me leave this current role?

My favourite coffee shop proprietors told me today that they thought I worked too hard and didn't have enough fun. The guys at work think I live an incredibly fulfilled life because I manage to pack so much in. I'll admit that there are times - like now, when I've been sitting at my desk, surfing the Internet for the last two hours or so - that I think I should be out there, meeting people, random strangers, and building connections and memories, but there is only so much energy that this person has!

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