Homesick

It’s my first weekend back in London and I’m finding myself profoundly homesick.

It’s not the coldness of the weather that’s making me long for Singapore. In fact, I didn’t get as much of that as I’d like, thanks to the haze that descended upon the little island when I was home, although that didn’t stop me from managing to develop an incredibly itchy prickly heat rash which kept me from sleeping and almost drove me crazy on the 13 hour flight back to London.

(Note to self: I really do have to get myself a tin of St. Luke’s Prickly Heat powder even for those non-prickly-heat occasions. It provides a reminder of Uniquely Singapore after all.)

Rather, it’s that sense of not-quite-knowing-what-to-do that sometimes hits me in London. It’s not that there’s nothing to do, it’s that there aren’t as many people to do nothing with. I’ve made friends here, but they’re not the same as the kind of friends you made when you were in high school, the kind of friends you make by sharing experiences with, rather than those you find over a social network or because you have the same interests.

They’re not the people you grew up with.

And, so, despite the fact that I know full well that I got tired of doing the same things every weekend, although not always with the same people (as I somehow managed the balance between my work, high school, university and clubbing circles of friends), I now find myself missing the fact that I used to be able to meet up with an old friend every few weeks or so and just catch up on life. Yes, I sometimes found we were always talking about the same subjects but, still, it was time spent with a cherished friend.

Heck, even sitting by the table showing my parents the latest stupid thing on YouTube was fun.

Maybe that’s what made going back this time so good and, consequently, so hard to leave behind.

At the same time, my being away a year or more always means that there is something to talk about. Surely something new must have happened during that time, yes?

In any case, the important thing for me to remember is that, regardless of where I am, it’s pointless to mope and lose out on enjoying what’s in front of me. At the same time, there’s no shame in my having to admit that, although it was I who made the decision to move to London, and I who decided against moving back when things looked bleak, I still do very much miss Singapore and each and every one of my friends.

Until next year, Singapore. Stay classy.