Saturday, November 23, 2002

I read somewhere that females in my country suffer because they're not as feminine and demure as our regional counterparts (to me, feminine and demure implies submissive, so by glory, I should hope not!) but at the same time, we're not as liberal and forward as the Westerners.

I empathise with that completely. I've been through that myself without realising it.

Local men supposedly prefer females from the neighbouring countries since they're gentler and presumably less inclined to be argumentative. Foreigners probably expect us to be more adventurous, open-minded and as decadent as the girls they're used to back home since we can be pretty forward and are definitely very Westernised in our attitudes. We don't expect to have to give up our careers in order to start a family, for one thing. We compete with the men during our studies and during job-hunting and especially at work. We don't let men win simply because we're women. We go out on our own and laugh and flirt openly, but deep down, we're still somewhat conservative and traditional. How can we not be, given the environment we're brought up in? Where people are "too tired and stressed" to have sex life? When manuals have to be published telling us how to meet people? When familial honour is such an important concept that you never ever want to do anything that will disgrace your family? When failure is not something tolerated and risk is not something to be taken?

This isn't a rant against how I was brought up. It's just... trying to explain and justify how I can apparently act as forward as I supposedly do and yet still be so shy.

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