A friend offered me some advice on my current romantic situation (in response to my comment that I'm not head-over-heels for the guy I'm dating now, but that I still like him) that idealistic as it sounds, head-over-heels is a necessary part of any relationship, even the short-term ones. Naturally, that made me think - maybe a little too much - about what I'm doing, where we're going. I mean, like it or not, I'm not about to sleep with him. And that, if that's the case, maybe I shouldn't be doing this, and should just stop it here and now.

And then, he turned up last night - late and unannounced - and I felt happy to see him. Not ecstatically happy, but shyly happy. And it just feel rather nice holding him and being held by him. And I found myself laughing when he and his friends got into a mock fight, pai kia style.

So there it is. I've found my reason for why I'm still letting this continue. There may not be crazy, heartstoppingly dizziness, but still, there's a hint of what could become that... just something.