Over the last week or so, I've received praise from some of the senior managers I support on the work I do. One complimented the work I did, saying he appreciated all the things I've done, even though I don't work as much with him as some of my other colleagues, while other, after he had got wind of the fact that I'm looking around for a change, told me that he thought I was excellent at what I'm doing now, not to say that I should do it forever, and that it would be a shame if I left the company after working so long and so hard for it. Yet another unit head thanked me for giving a presentation to his team on something which I am the back-up on but most definitely am not the expert at with slightly less than 24 hours notice.

On the social front, a friend introduced me to one of his girlfriends, saying he thought we'd get on great together because we have similar personalities. Of course, usually that means we'd either love each other or hate each other, but in any case, I've yet to meet her in person, but only over e-mail. She told me that my friend told her that I was quite bright and very funny.

I'm not saying all of this to big up myself. It's just that I tend to be very harsh on myself, always focusing on my faults and failures, never really taking note of my own achievements and other people's praise. Whenever I do get praise, yes, it does make me happy, but only for a short while, and I'm quick to dismiss whatever I did well last time as just a fluke. In fact, in spite of the fair number of people who've told me that I've got what it takes to succeed in my rather pressurising company, I've often wondered what it is they see that I don't see, that they can't possibly be talking about me because who knows me better? Them or me?

Take into account the fact that I'm a person who needs to be told when she's doing a job right, who needs positive reinforcement in order to remain a happy camper, and you can see where there's a problem. How can I possibly remain a happy, contented worker in a high-pressure company if I don't believe in myself and I blame myself whenever anything goes wrong?

So yes, I acknowledge, I really do need to start taking other people's word that I do indeed do good work. And I do know it, but on some subconscious level, it doesn't really mean anything. I'm proud of the work I do for like five minutes, and then, wham, completely forget that I've done pretty damn excellent work given the time constraints and the importance of the work to my company.

It's time for a change.

And on that note, T. and I accidentally managed to catch the fireworks display that accompanied what appeared to be Tiger's launch of its new look and slogan (no longer "What Time Is It?" but seems to be "It's Time."). As least, I think it was the launch of its new marketing campaign, seeing as we saw giant Tiger logos flashing across the buildings across the river. It was a good surprise. Of course, it rained like anything about an hour or so later, and though I'm a little afraid of lightning, I really love rain. So drinking beer, sitting at a pub with interesting people (T.'s friends who we happened to run into), talking about things I know at least a little about while surrounded by pouring rain and loud crashing thunder... yes, it was a good way to round off the day.