To a life not wasted

I am in love - and, my God, it's the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love, if you haven't done so already. You are wasting your life.
- D.H. Lawrence

I went off to Bangkok following my friends' ROM last week, thinking I'd work on the wedding lunch music and speech upon my return on Thursday, not counting on being struck down by a high fever and what is currently suspected to be dengue fever. I have been feeling terrible the lt two days, barely able to eat without throwing up and enduring a lot of muscle pain. It was with much sadness that I told my friend I didn't think I could make the wedding games or the lunch today.

I went to bed at 9 pm last night, saying a quick but heartfelt prayer, asking that a miracle occur, and lo and behold, I woke up at 3 am feeling better, and decided I would set my alarm for 6.30 am and see how I felt then. A strange thing happened then; I dreamt I overslept and woke up at 9.20 am before waking up for real at 6.30 am. Almost felt like time travelling. So, I dragged myself out of bed, showered, dressed in my beautiful bridesmaid dress and jumped into a cab.

I was the first girl there. The rest soon followed after and we formulated our strategy vis-a-vis the ang pow, door keys, order of games and whether the groom should be a victim (given he had to be at lunch after all).

Later on, when the brothers turned up, the groom looked immensely surprised but happy to see me there. Apparently, he'd told the rest that I was sick and wasn't going to make it. Understandably, the brothers attempted to get me to rest and not overexert myself. After all, I do have a reputation for being evil. I refused. We has fun involving homemade chilli vodka, flour, M&Ms and boy-on-boy action. The one thing they were saved from by my not being alive in the past two days was being waxed. Hmph.

Then, it was off to the groom's house, where my friend got his mother to feed me miraculous chicken soup and his sister gave me a bottle of Origins Peace of Mind to help with my headache. By this stage, my stomach started to feel like it was digesting itself after not having eaten in 1.5 days so the food was very welcomed.

Next stop, the hotel, and, now, everyone had noticed I'd begun to flag considerably. My eyes were glassy, I was starting to limp and everything hurt and that was in spite of my taking medication. So another friend offered to do reiki on me, and, maybe it was just the meds kicking in later or the fact that it really worked, but I felt quite a bit better after that.

Besides I'd promised my friends I wouldn't faint or die during the wedding and I always keep the promises I make to my friends.

There was now 1.5 hours to go to the lunch so I wrote down my speech: five pages worth of an A5 notebook (prompting a few people to say that my handwriting hadn't changed since school days) and went through it quickly with people in the room. It sounded good so off we went downstairs.

I entered the hall and noticed that there were easily over 200 people in the room and had a mini-freakout. I tried to concentrate on other things and not eating too much in case I ended up throwing up again and, as the time drew near, tried to psych myself up and reminded myself to talk slowly.

The MC called me up. I started my speech. My voice began to quiver. I got quite a few laughs. I ended it off. I began to tell my friends how happy I was for them and started to cry. I managed to finish but the tell-tale sign of mascara running told everyone what had occurred even though I'd been hurriedly wiping my eyes.

I descended the stage. The MC, a friend from high school told me it was good but I couldn't see too clearly then. The bride and groom gave me big hugs. The groom's family told me it was a good and funny speech. The bride's family said it was good and that people were listening and that it was very clear it was from the heart. The mother, who'd told me last week not to embarrass the groom, also said she'd learnt a side to the groom she hadn't known about. Heh.

I got back to my table and my old friends told me it was all good - volume, delivery, jokes, flow - and I was so relieved. One of them told me she'd also begun to tear as I got to the end.

After that, I was nagged by all and sundry, especially the ex, who noted that I hadn't changed from the stubborn girl who would never rest when she was sick, to go home and sleep. I reluctantly agrees, arrived home and promptly collapsed into bed for two hours.

I know I am going to pay for this, but, in all honesty, there are no other people I would have done this for. And I promised I would give the speech, and nothing would have kept me from fulfilling that!