Monday, February 06, 2012

Keep on keeping on

It's been a funny few days. I've been finding it incredibly hard to be focussed and motivated over the past few weeks. Perhaps it's because of burn-out, perhaps it's because it's cold, perhaps it's just down to the fact that I find it incredibly difficult to work in my own flat, because I want to keep my flat insulated from the stresses of work and have it remain as my refuge from the outside world when things get too tough.

Despite exhortations from friends and family that this is my year and that I can't afford to think like I'm not going to be able to get work, I'm still kind of iffy, particularly because, if nothing else, I've had a rough time with respect to job-hunting in relation to what I've years of experience doing. To be honest, this is the first time ever I've not been called in for a first-round interview, despite the fact that, prior to my last job, I had an excellent track record doing what it is they're looking for. Never mind the fact that I may not have the passion to do that job any more, but if you're looking just at skill sets alone, I can guarantee you that you won't find anyone better, even if I've had a couple of months off.

On another front, a job opening I was quite excited to hear about turned out to be just hearsay. I know headhunters can and do try all sorts of tricks to keep you hooked, but I've not ever encountered one who plain out fabricated an opening, not realising I counted the supposed hiring manager as a friend. I'd been incredibly happy to hear that he might had an opening in his team when the headhunter called me, because I respect him greatly and would love a chance to work with him, but, as it turns out, there was nothing to it. Ah well. So, there's that.

 You'd think I'd be feeling more down than I am right now, but I'm not.

It's because of these two links I came across today. First up is Matt Cutts' short talk on 30 day challenges (h/t TasterLab). It's fun, light-hearted and oh-so-true. I'm trying it right now with yoga.

Next is Cherie Magnus' newly published memoirs, The Church of Tango. It's, in Cherie's words, "not a 'tango book,' but a story of survival that cuts across death, cancer, Alzheimer's, loss of home and homeland and cherished heirlooms and possessions, loss of shared histories, of hope for one's children, of hope for the future, of love. But it's also about finding love and unexpected joy. And about listening to the music and dancing."

Now, Cherie and her partner, Reuben, taught me when I was in Buenos Aires. She's been incredibly kind and encouraging, but, I never quite knew the story of how she ended up in Buenos Aires, only that she used to dance flamenco and then eventually moved to Buenos Aires, fell in love with tango, and now lives there. Her life story is incredible and very inspiring. I hope that my life - at least the dance part of it, if nothing else - will resemble hers when I get to her age.

So, yes, there are days I feel incredibly down, and there will be some when I feel strangely fine. And if you're wondering why I can feel the latter despite the depressed economic climate, it's because I know I will be fine. And knowing that I will come out of this all right helps me get through the journey to that point.

As Dev Patel's character in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel says, "Everything will be all right in the end. So, if it is not all right, it is not yet the end."

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