I had a tough day at work today... my first full day of work, and already I had to ask questions about almost every piece of work I got. I'm already behind, and I'm going to get the same amount of work tomorrow, practically guaranteeing that I'll be constantly behind this week. Work's so much harder than I thought, and job security is uppermost in my mind, since it's widely acknowledged that I don't have any. If they told me tomorrow not to come in for work again, that's it. One day's notice, and very high standards. I'm terrified of not making it...

I was watching the series finale of Ally McBeal, and I remembered how much I loved the series when it first came out. How much I identified with Ally, and the notion of meeting and falling in love with this guy for the rest of your life... I remember crying during the sad episodes and although I felt that the last episode ever wasn't well produced or scripted, the acting wasn't bad, and once again I cried. The series ended with Ally leaving Boston to move to New York for the sake of her daughter, and during the last ten minutes, I found myself thinking that the hardest and toughest thing that I've ever had to do was to say goodbye to someone I loved. There's always this fear that things won't stay the same between you two. That the two of you will grow apart, and forget about the intensity of feeling and bonding between you. Watching Ally promise to always be in touch with her friends in Boston, I recalled asking, heart in my mouth, my then-boyfriend to promise to always be a part of my life... and when he agreed, I was so incredibly happy, even if only for that day.

Words are so easy to say, and equally easy to forget. I had that problem with my first boyfriend actually. He was wonderful with the written word, but... I needed more. I suppose every girl needs more than just letters and e-mails. Verbal and physical signs of affection, actual time spent with each other...

I've always been a sucker for love. I used to think I didn't fall in love easily, and that it would take time, but truth be told, it's quite easy to win my affection. You simply have to make me laugh, and to enjoy talking with you. That doesn't give you a one-way ticket to my heart though. That just means you get established among the ranks of people I love to hang out with. How I eventually end up falling in love with a person is a matter I have yet to figure out. I've only ever been in love twice after all...