Will wonders never cease? The Guardian reports that according to a scientist (of all people), the odds are on that God exists.

I didn't think I would ever read an indepth analysis of Stephen Chow's films... especially one done by a US website. Read Shaolin Soccer, Miramax, and the Question of Subtitles by Popmatters, a pretty good website on music, movies and media in general.

Men need to learn to do this more often.

On work:
Colleague: Our boss believes in stretching people.
Me: Whether stretching is beneficial depends on whether it's being done for fitness... or torture.

I discovered my true love tonight.

It all seems as though it was predestined, as though fate itself conspired to put together a series of events which would culminate in the discovery of what my dream is.

First off, there was the unexpected swing dancing at Harry's on Friday night. Then, there was the BT article which my friend sent me on how Singaporeans are brought up to be practical - and not to be dreamers, and that we've all lost the ability to be passionate about something we truly love and enjoy. And then, there was Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights.

Don't get me wrong. The plot of the movie is incredibly thin. I knew that if I allowed myself - for just one second - to dwell on the storyline, I'd condemn the movie... so I just focussed on the dancing. The dancing was good enough that I drank it all in... and it reminded me of why I love dancing so much and why dancing just makes me so happy whenever I'm doing it. Not the normal clubbing kind of dancing, mind you. The social dancing. The swing dancing, the cha chas, the rhumbas... all of that. Whenever I'm doing it - without fear of being criticised or whether I'm doing anything badly - I'm incredibly happy.

Maybe that's my real dream after all. To dance, not to travel... and perhaps not being the boss of a Fortune 500 firm.

I've been really stressed about work the last couple of days. Not just about the amount of work, but about the quality of my work, the rankings, the staff turnover... Yesterday, my supervisor resigned. He's a really nice guy, so I was quite shocked when I found out. In fact, he's so nice that he told me that he was hoping that he'd get a chance to tell me personally before I found out through other sources. The staff grapevine works at a tremendous speed in my company and this event was no different.

I'll confess. I took a short break, went to the Ladies and just let myself cry just a little.

Fortunately, by some unknown twist of fate, I ended up at Harry's that night, for the first time ever. My plan wasn't to do anything but hang out with friends and drink, but there were some swing dancers there, and the singer told them that there was 'another swing dancer at another table who was too shy to go up to them and ask them to dance' so they came over to ask me instead. And having not done that for more than two years, I was really more than a little embarrassed but at least, I can still dance and I had a hell of a lot of fun. It really did help relieve the stress even though it didn't completely eliminate it. But still... I'm thankful for the little things.

Lately, I've been pretty depressed. And no, it's not one of those inexplicable moods that I get des temps en temps such as when I feel terribly lonely. No, I know exactly what caused this mood and I'm kind of at a loss as to figure out exactly how to redress it. But perhaps I should begin from (where else?) the beginning.

It's been almost half a year since I graduated from my company's regional training scheme and yet, the results of the local (not regional) rankings were released only last week. And thank goodness they were, for I came in last. I knew that I hadn't done well in the regional training sessions nor had I scored terribly high in my exams but still, it really hurt like hell that I scored that low. Perhaps I did do better than others in the region, for my score isn't all that far away from the regional average, but still, I don't care about the region.

And maybe I should be looking at this from a different perspective. Like how I've been enjoying my current work for some time and that I think I'm doing a pretty decent job. Wrong again. Lately, I've been getting pretty stressed about my work, not at all sure if I'm up to whatever my perfectionist of a boss is asking from me. I've been trying to get my academic knowledge of the work that I'm doing up to speed but still haven't been able to assimilate all of it, and definitely not at the speed I wish to be doing so. As such, my working speed isn't as quick as it should be, and I stay back late to finish up work. As a result of that, I don't get enough rest, and in turn, that affects my productivity. In any case, I've been working 60+ hour work weeks, and it's starting to get to me.

Obviously this does get me thinking: Am I cut out for this job? Am I even in the right industry? And even if I'm not, what else can I do? I have no clue whatsoever about what I want to do in life other than manage a youth hostel located somewhere in Europe. And that's not something that I can really do right now. I just don't have enough capital to pull such a venture off even if I wanted to. Furthermore, I really should be trying my best to aim for a relatively high-paying job in order to provide for my parents for the many sacrifices that they've made for me throughout my lifetime.

Bearing all of this in mind, I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find anything I'm good at. I mean, back during my school days, I liked chess and dancing, but I do acknowledge that I wasn't good at them in that I'm naturally talented and that even at my best, I don't play or look half as good as quite a few other people. Even in academics, even though I'm supposedly 'up there', I've never been able to perform at the level in which I ought to be able to perform at. Even now, doing what I'm doing, even though I (sometimes) like the nature of my job, am I really good at it? Why am I just not good at anything I do?

A good friend of mine told me recently that I'll never be able to find something that I do well... namely because there'll always be a voice inside me that'll tell me that I'm not good enough even when I am. Maybe he's right. But all I know is that right now, it's got nothing to do with that inner voice. I cannot name anything in which I am good at doing. And for all my vaunted intelligence, I sure don't seem to be able to utilise any of that potential.

In fact, the only thing that I seem to be doing well is not breaking down. Although come to think of it, it's more of a failure seeing as I've been wanting so desperately to just cry everything away. But the tears won't come. Even in that, I've failed.

Laura, the girl who has Chris Rock's old cell phone number.

Man, I wish stuff like this would happen to me! But nothing like that ever happens in this staid, boring, tiny country!

While reading the papers today, I came across an article in which William Blake's Auguries of Innocence was mentioned. I'd heard it briefly before, but the full impact of the beauty of the first stanza only fully sank in when I read it out loud. So here it is in its entirety.

Enjoy.

Auguries of Innocence
William Blake

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill'd with doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thro' all its regions.
A dog starv'd at his Master's Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus'd upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear.
A Skylark wounded in the wing,
A Cherubim does cease to sing.
The Game Cock clipp'd and arm'd for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright.
Every Wolf's & Lion's howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul.
The wild deer, wand'ring here & there,
Keeps the Human Soul from Care.
The Lamb misus'd breeds public strife
And yet forgives the Butcher's Knife.
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that won't believe.
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belov'd by Men.
He who the Ox to wrath has mov'd
Shall never be by Woman lov'd.
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spider's enmity.
He who torments the Chafer's sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night.
The Catterpillar on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mother's grief.
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly,
For the Last Judgement draweth nigh.
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar's Dog & Widow's Cat,
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envy's Foot.
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artist's Jealousy.
The Prince's Robes & Beggars' Rags
Are Toadstools on the Miser's Bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy & Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro' the World we safely go.
Joy & Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the Soul divine;
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The Babe is more than swadling Bands;
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made, & born were hands,
Every Farmer Understands.
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity.
This is caught by Females bright
And return'd to its own delight.
The Bleat, the Bark, Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heaven's Shore.
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of death.
The Beggar's Rags, fluttering in Air,
Does to Rags the Heavens tear.
The Soldier arm'd with Sword & Gun,
Palsied strikes the Summer's Sun.
The poor Man's Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Afric's Shore.
One Mite wrung from the Labrer's hands
Shall buy & sell the Miser's lands:
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole Nation sell & buy.
He who mocks the Infant's Faith
Shall be mock'd in Age & Death.
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the Infant's faith
Triumph's over Hell & Death.
The Child's Toys & the Old Man's Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons.
The Questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to Reply.
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out.
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesar's Laurel Crown.
Nought can deform the Human Race
Like the Armour's iron brace.
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow.
A Riddle or the Cricket's Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply.
The Emmet's Inch & Eagle's Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile.
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you Please.
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They'd immediately Go out.
To be in a Passion you Good may do,
But no Good if a Passion is in you.
The Whore & Gambler, by the State
Licenc'd, build that Nation's Fate.
The Harlot's cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old England's winding Sheet.
The Winner's Shout, the Loser's Curse,
Dance before dead England's Hearse.
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn & every Night
Some are Born to sweet Delight.
Some ar Born to sweet Delight,
Some are born to Endless Night.
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro' the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light.
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night,
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master

Take the OkCupid! Test!

My review of the UNKLE gig for a friend:

It was definitely an unusual set (one hour live set and one hour of DJing on either side of the live set) and so not what I expected. It wasn't what I wanted either (if you had asked me beforehand what I wanted them to play) but it was what I - and everyone else in the whole room - needed. And that, in my book, makes it one of the best sets that I've ever been to.

Velvet was packed. And the queue stretched all the way to Copthorne hotel, showing just how popular the event was - and on a Wednesday night too! Granted, it was free, but still... it was very surprising to say the least. My invitation said that the event was to begin from 10 pm onwards, so I was inside before 10, and managed to get a seat. I had to wait until 11 before UNKLE came on though. The first hour was very mellow, very chill-out, so I was a little disappointed because I was itching to do some dancing - plus I was eagerly awaiting them to play In A State, since I really do like that tune. I had expected them to play a live set, not a DJ set so I was like, oh well...

But man, the second hour (and the live set) kicked off to the sound of blaring sirens and flashing red lights... and lo and behold, UNKLE launched into some really heavy rock tunes and the crowd went mad, jumping up and there and head-banging. It was just like being at a mosh pit in a Brit rock concert in London. It was fantastically insane... and completely unexpected. I mean, Brit rock-like tunes in Velvet?

The next two hours went all over the place musically - from rock to progressive to trip hop back to rock and then to house to classical and so on. It was a really eclectic mix of tunes and yet, the changing from genre to genre was really smooth. Nothing sounded out of place. Their skill in mixing was evident, as was their ability to manipulate the mood of the crowd. Granted, there were low points in their set when stuff started to sound boring but these, thankfully, didn't last for too long.

The finale for UNKLE's set wasn't bad. If I recall correctly, the last four tunes were: Born Slippy - vocals with piano accompaniment (definitely not a mix that I'm familiar with), Cowgirl, In A State and Clocks (again, another mix that I haven't heard). It was a great end to an unexpectedly uplifting and energising night of incredible musical entertainment.

On the live set front, I recognised two or three of their own tunes, but I can't recall the name right now. I'll have to go home and check it out. They played In A State three times!!! Twice in full (the fourth song in the second hour and then the penultimate tune at the end of their three hour set) and once more in the middle (the instrumental version). I was wavering between being sick of it the third time they played it but decided to go with just going mad for the third time in a row.

Congratulations - you're the beautiful, honest Miranda Jones! Others may call you
cynical,but you consider yourself a realist. You don't expect the impossible,
and instead take pleasure in the company of good friends and in being able
to control your own life, without relying on anyone else. You expect a lot from
your friends and yourself, and even more from men, and it takes a lot to get you to open up.
But you like it that way.


Which 'Sex and the City' femme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I received a promotion today - and along with it, a raise! I didn't expect it at all so I was really happy just before I went under from all the work that I've got due.

My current mood.

Lately, I've been a little depressed over the realisation that working takes up so much of my time that I don't have the time or energy to invest in the beginnings of a new relationship. While that sounds very much like economist-speak or banker-speak, I'm just stating the facts. Every relationship requires a lot more time in the beginning than after that, because you need to put in so much to get it up to the stage where you two become 'official' or 'exclusive' and are content to commit to being with each other and no longer feel the need to date other people... if only for a little while!

Over dinner at a pretty nice Russian coffeehouse on Thursday, my recently-single friend asked me if I truly felt as if work robbed me of the necessary time to get involved with other people.

My reply? "Maybe it's all an excuse. One day, I'll face facts and realise that it's not the time issue at all. It's simply because no one wants me."

I watched Big Fish today. It's a nice, sweet show which could have expounded more on the overarching theme of the movie - that of a son trying to know and understand his father. But still, it was a nice, quirky movie.

In a nutshell, the show starts out with the son (played by Billy Crudup), William Bloom, disgusted by his father's (Albert Finney and Ewan McGregor as the old and young Edmund Bloom respectively) tendencies to tell tall tales, argues with him, and then doesn't talk to him for the next three years until Edmund is dying. We get to see Edmund's life story as told via flashblacks, and these involve him meeting a giant, working in a circus, working hard to win the woman of his dreams, serving in Korea and so on. All of the stories that Ed tells are indeed fantastical and truly hard to swallow. Yet, William and we both find that there is an element of truth to all the stories... that perhaps Ed isn't such a liar as William condemns him to be, but that these stories, in some strange way, did indeed happen.

I don't have any comments on the acting. All of the actors, including Jessica Lange and Alison Lohman as the old and young Sandra Templeton, Ed's wife, do a decent job, but none of them was on the screen long enough for them to make an impact on me as to whether they were doing a superb acting job. Steve Buscemi, as always, gave a great performance as a truly horrible poet (e.g. "Roses are red / Violets are Blue / I love Spectre"), then a bank robber and subsequently, a Wall St banker.

The ending... is very sweet and fulfills Ed's claim that how he's going to go will be a surprise.

And yes, I cried. I proceeded to buy myself a yoghurt and returned home to drink beer and watch television... and tried not to cry some more.

Memorable Quotes:

Senior Ed Bloom: Most men, they'll tell you a story straight true. It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either.

Will Bloom: A man tells so many stories, that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.

I went to Unkle's set at Velvet Underground yesterday night, a Heineken Green Room Sessions invitations-only event. I'm not sure how I became a member but I'm guessing it's because I told them that people come to me for recommendations about music... which is true, so I wasn't lying.

In any case, in spite of an early morning meeting, I stayed at the club until 3 am and went to bed at around 4.06 am after talking on the phone with a friend. I had a tremendous amount of fun and it was just like being back in London. I've left my review at work, having written a long one for a friend, so I'll post my complete review later this week.

In the meantime, you can read the review for Unkle's latest album,Never, Never Land (from Stylus magazine).

Just to remind me, I think some of the Unkle tracks that were played in addition to In A State included Celestial Annihilation from Psyence Fiction.

I have just spent the last four hours of my day off watching the 76th Annual Academy Awards.

Much to my delight, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King swept the awards, winning each of the 11 categories it was nominated in, including Best Picture and Best Director. While there are some who feel that this movie shouldn't have won on its on merit, especially given that it's a fantasy and much of the magic of the film was just that - magic created by the wonder of special effects, I still stand by what I said in December last year when I first watched the film. It's one of the best films made. The acting of the entire cast is on the whole rather good. The cinematography and the special effects are spot on, and the music... The score is great and Annie Lennox's wistful Into The West is very moving. Her performance at the show was great, and it showcased just how much vocal ability she has, able to go from restrained to performance from one moment to the next. The making of the whole trilogy is itself a wondrous fairy tale, and Peter Jackson and those at New Line should be praised for willing to take such a huge risk on what turned out to be a fantastic trilogy of incredibly magical films.

I still feel that Sean Astin should have been nominated for his great performance of Samwise Gangee though.

I can't comment on the other nominations and wins because I haven't had the chance to watch the other nominated shows, other than Lost In Translation. It's a sweet film and it would have been nice for it to win, but in the words of the Highlander, there can be only one.

I've got to say that Billy Crystal is incredibly funny. No wonder he's hosted the show for eight times already. This year, probably more so than any other year, the show was very musical. Billy started the night off by paying tribute to the five movies that were nominated for Best Picture in song, and presenters Jack Black and Will Ferrell added lyrics to the tune that's always played for those who have exceeded their allocated time while making their thank you speeches. They've got not-too-bad voices and they were very funny too.

Other funny moments that I can recall (it was a long show) included Adrien Brody, just prior to announcing the Best Actress in a Leading Role receipient, took out a breath spray and used it. Who could forget the gorgeous kiss he planted on Halle Berry last year when he won the Best Actor Oscar?

All right, I'd been meaning to write this down for some time now. Lest there are those among you who believe that I don't find that many movie actors hot - and believe me, there are many - here's my list of actors who have at one time or another made me go, "Whoa..." (in a good way, of course).
- Ethan Hawke
- Christian Slater (especially in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves)
- Ryan Phillippe
- Adrien Brody (especially in the Ermenegildo Zegna ads)
- Viggo Mortensen (only in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and even then, only when unshaven and unkempt)
- Jude Law (only in Cold Mountain)
- Keanu Reeves (only in Something's Gotta Give)