Sunday, October 10, 2010

How on earth does one remain friends with someone who is incredibly nice, very funny, musical and so intelligent? I fell for CG some time ago and told him how I felt in an effort to move on. Yesterday, we met up for coffee, having not seen each other for three months. I knew I still had feelings for him - and probably always will have to some extent - but I really needed to face up to this to see if we could be friends. And, to be honest, I really miss having a guy friend to whom I could talk. But, and this is a big but, all the reasons which made me fall are still there. He's still his usual witty self. He's still gentlemanly. And damn it, he's still interesting. These are things he or I can change. I can't compel him to not be him. And it sucks. Surely I'm not condemned to repeat history if I still want him in my life?

Maybe I just need to meet someone else to replace him. In the meantime, I shall not think about how he spent an hour longer talking to me than he meant to (he had some other place to be), nor will I dwell on his asking me when I'd be away. After all, I've got a Doctorate in Over-analysis and I refuse to be on the hook.

No comments: