Thursday, January 20, 2011

Online Dating - The First Date

So, back from my first date from the first person from the online dating site, and it was meh. I'm sure he had fun, as he told me that he wanted to see me again at the end of the night, but me? I'm not so sure, even though I'm trying to reserve judgment ever since my own father told me he thinks I'm being too critical when it comes to the people I'm dating. I'm not! Seriously. Firstly, my father has never accompanied me on a date (God forbid!), and, secondly, the people I've rejected, I've had good reason to do so.

Anyway, the misgivings started early on, but, for me, the main points were when he started telling me all about his job woes within ten minutes of us sitting down at the restaurant. Fair enough, I asked about what he did, but, still, I'd resolved not to talk about the specifics of what I dislike about my job, because I just don't talk about things like that to strangers.

Then there was the general impression he gave of being someone who'd given up on his passions and dreams, and realised it, but wasn't willing to do anything about it. I'm sorry, but, for me, I need someone with ambition and passion. He doesn't have to be a high-flyer, just someone with a dream and the courage to follow it, or, at least, be someone like me, who's going the 'sensible' route but indulging her passion whenever she can.

But the possible last straw came when the bill arrived. He didn't offer to pay for the bill, but instead asked whether we should split it or if he should pay more because he ate more.

I'm a bit of a traditionalist. If it's the first date, the guy should always offer to foot the bill. I will, of course, offer to pay my share, and, if the guy accepts, I admit I'll still be a tad offended, but, hey, at least the offer was made.

Ideally, the guy should gallantly say that he'll foot the bill, but, if the girl really wants to pay, she can get dinner or drinks or whatever next time. That way, not only does the guy display good upbringing, he cleverly turns it into an expression of interest. "Wow", the girl thinks, "he's already thinking about the next time! He must be interested!"

I'm not saying the guy should pay all the time. No, that's just silly. But, on the first date, the guy should definitely offer to pay.

Is it just me? Am I being old-fashioned?

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