Finally met up with the bride face-to-face for the first time in just about a year (as we've been living in different countries).
Me: You do realise I've had to turn down many dates because I was flying off home and had to get things ready for your wedding?
Bride: Really? Do tell.
(Several stories later)
Me: So, yes, I'd love to have you both as guests at my wedding, but, at this rate, it's never going to happen, and it'll be all your fault as to why I never got married.
B.: Pshaw, none of them sound good enough for you anyway.
The recounting included choice quotes and anecdotes such as:
Me: So I told him I wasn't going to kiss him, and, of course, he still tried... and when I still refused, he went to kiss my neck!
B.: Augh!
Me: I know! It's so invasive! He might as well have just dropped his pants and gone, "Fine, no kiss? How about the sex?"
Me: I know it's too much to ask for someone with no baggage, but can the baggage not be of the physical variety?
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