Dance like nobody’s watching

Wow oh wow oh wow!

I had the most incredible dance weekend ever, and that’s despite my encountering a number of rather silly problems which caused me to miss a number of workshops.

This wasn’t the same as previous weekenders where I was determined to get to as many workshops as possible in order to make up for my suffering my usual lack of confidence on the dance floor. Instead, because the boy and I attended Robert & Nicola Royston’s novice dance intensive (eight hours of dance theory and drills over Thursday and Friday), our heads were rather overloaded and we inadvertently ended up taking it easy on Thursday night (i.e. we fell asleep, woke up at 2 am and decided to sleep till morning rather than go for the social).

On Friday, as it was the boy’s last night at the event (he had to go off on business on Saturday), we ended up hanging out with our dance friends, imbibing copious amounts of alcohol and then hitting the dance floor close to 4 am. We ended up dancing till 6 am – and I even managed a dance where a friend told the boy that I “looked really good” and that I was “really working it”, comments I’d not ever heard before. That guy even asked me for a second dance later!

That became our first ever entry into The Breakfast Club (i.e. the legion of people who stay up all the way till breakfast is served at 6 am).

A (tango) journey of a thousand li begins with a forward ocho...

How time flies!

I have been in Buenos Aires for eight days now and it feels as if I have just arrived. In many other ways, though, I have learnt so much, and, yet, not enough. I've been taking many lessons in two tango styles: traditional (milonga) and tango nueva and have been trying to figure out which one I liked more. I think I have an inkling, but, to be honest, when you nail it, everything feels good.

Like yesterday.

I've been tangoed

Holy moly, I cannot believe it. I've booked my flights.

Knowing full well that my new job may well kill me - I am, after all, returning to the soul-crushing hours I used to work and will be working alongside the crazy, intense kind of people I used to work with - I've decided to make full use of the time I have before I start work, and return to Buenos Aires to learn tango. I leave in a few weeks.

I was initially rather hesitant. After all, wouldn't I prefer going to a place I haven't been before, or going to New York and Boston instead, where I know I'd have a great time just exploring the cities and meeting up with friends and friends' friends?

I thought for a bit. And thought for a bit more, and realised I'd rather spend that time more productively, and do something enriching, instead of merely building memories. Nothing wrong with the latter, but I can do that even after I start my new job, only that I'll have to cram it into a shorter period of time.

I was still dithering though. Wasn't I at way too junior a level to go off to Buenos Aires and learn this most sexy and technical of dances? After all, I've only had about ten hours of lessons to date.

Dance Yourself Clean

I don't think I've ever felt as happy or as free in London in recent times as I did on Saturday.

What exactly was it about that day which made me so happy?

Maybe it was the awesome Britney dance workshop I took, maybe it was the alcohol I drank, maybe it was the great venue that is Bloomsbury Lanes, and maybe it was just meeting fantastic people with whom I clicked and just ended up talking complete and utter rubbish with. Any of these things would have made me mildly happy. The combination of all of them, I suspect, led to my being incredibly, deliriously relaxed.

Let me talk a little about the workshop. As always, it was conducted by my favourite street dance teacher, Elliot, whose class never fails to leave me happy. He'd decided to teach us the routines to Slave 4 U (probably my favourite Britney song because it's just so durrty) and Toxic. And, of course, as it was Elliot's class, it wasn't easy. As it'd be quite some time since I last attended one of his classes, it was time for me to re-learn the lessons that I'd learnt a while back:

1. A class is meant to be difficult. If it's not hard, you're not learning. If you're not learning, it's not good.
2. When in dance - and in all else - if you feel you can't do it, put on a character who can. Leave all your inhibitions behind and just be that crazy creature who can do it all, and has the attitude to match. 

And you know what? I may not have killed it, but there was a moment when I nailed it and the grin on my face was so incredibly huge, you could have spotted it from a mile away.

What I didn't expect was Elliot to get us all into a dance circle at the very end where everyone was expected to dance in the middle while he played a Britney mini-mix. I'd half expected someone to turn all professional on us, but no one did, instead opting for cheesy dance moves, much to my relief!

I had a short break between the workshop to get ready for a friend's birthday whereupon I ran into a lady whom I'd met over a year ago. It turned out neither one of us really knew that many people there, and we had several things in common and ended up chatting for the remainder of the party while nursing some rather unusual beers. As she was leaving to meet up with her friends at Bloomsbury Lanes, she invited me along, possibly because I'd said I'd heard so many great things about the venue but none of my friends wanted to dress up and go.

I'm not sure why I decided to go as, usually, I'd feel strange about gatecrashing someone else's event, and not knowing anyone else there, but it was just one of those nights when I'd thrown all caution to the wind quite some time ago. Quite possibly, I was still in my Britney character as I knew I was looking good, if not quite in an appropriate outfit for bowling (read: short dress).

Off I went. It turned out to that We, Like You featuring Norman Jay (MBE) was happening that night, so double yay! I ended up bowling and boogie-ing all at the same time. I really sucked at the former, not even breaking 50. Fortunately, I was much better at the latter. I think it's the first time in a while I was busting out crazy dance moves in front of almost-perfect-strangers. The music was wonderful, ranging from Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al to Major Lazer - Pon Di Floor and everything else in between.

They even dropped a techno remix to an Irish tune which sounded a lot like one of the tunes off Sid Meier's Colonization, one of my favourite computer games ever, and, yes, everyone on the floor was doing an Irish dance. How cool is that?!

We finished bowling just about the time Norman stepped up to the decks. He dropped a combination of funky house and drum 'n' bass tunes, and I've got to say it's a bit of a relief to find out that no one really knows how to dance to d 'n' b. Everyone pretty much just tries to move as fast as they can!

What completed that great night was that the lady who'd invited me along? She loves to dance too, so, there we were, both of us, just showing off some moves. It was awesome.

As the clock struck 1 am, which then turned into 2 am as the clocks moved forward, I decided I needed to make a move as I had to get up early the following morning. I pretty much bounced back home, so happy and relaxed I was. It's been a long time since I had a proper dance (and, by that, I mean a challenging dance routine) and a proper clubbing session (and, by that, I mean just strutting my stuff with fellow dancers).

So, yes. Spring has officially arrived, and I have found another reason, another memory, as to why I love London so much.

Hip Hop Meets Ballet

After having had a few months off dance class, I decided to dive right back in with Craig's Save the Last Dance workshop at Frame yesterday.

Yes, I, someone with no ballet experience whatsoever (I tried one class when I was four, told the teacher that I hated it and that my mother said it was fine and never went back), decided to try to learn the Juilliard audition piece in two hours.



Clearly something that was never going to happen. My hip hop's not that great either, though I know, in my younger days, there've been times when I've been on fire and absolutely nailed the piece at the last moment, giving my instructor no end of joy.

I may have forgotten his name, but, sir, please know that the comments you made at my very last dance class that summer have stayed with me and made me continue with street dance, even if I'm doing it purely for fitness and fun.

In any case, it was an incredibly fun if frustrating workshop. My brain simply cannot cope with arm and leg movements simultaneously, which is very annoying for someone like me, as I've done dance for so long, and that is my single, biggest problem.

Still, I managed, with my arms doing whatever felt right when I wasn't thinking too hard.

But I can tell you: it's hard. So when I found this video of former Miami City Ballet Principal Alex Wong off So You Think You Can Dance dancing some amazing hip hop, I was completely blown away. This video doesn't include the rehearsal segment where Alex is just about freaking out because he's so out of his element, so when you put this into context, it's just... whoa. Dude would have won if he hadn't been injured, I swear.

Just back from a wonderful Glee workshop taught by the incredible Elliot Bodman and held at Frame's great dance studio. Two hours of dancing to Glee songs. How fantastic is that? I learnt the choreography to the Halo/Walking on Sunshine mash-up and, of course, Don't Stop Believin'. And those aren't even the best bits. The best part is that Elliot filmed us all doing the routines, and I didn't give a crap! I didn't freeze up or stop and mess up... I was just having so much fun that I just somehow gave it my all while still grinning away and just grooving. Elliot said we had loosened up so much by the end of the two hour workshop and that he wanted us to remember that feeling and just take it with us to whatever class we did next... or whatever else we do in life!

And that brings me on to the next point. Elliot's a wonderfully talented teacher. He's an incredible dancer who is somehow still not intimidating. He was listed as one of London's best personal trainers by Time Out because he makes classes so very fun.

Now, I'm very easily intimidated; it's one of the reasons I haven't returned to swing dancing, regardless of how good I used to be (according to my friends). I'm definitely not the most confident person around, and sometimes I do just fake it because I figure if I fake it long enough, I'll become that person. It sort of works! Try it if you have the same problem I do. That's also what Elliot teaches in his classes; I've become freaky Lady Gaga and just a completely cheesy Gleek. Sadly, he was tied up with choreographing for The X-Factor and I wasn't able to learn from him for Frame's Michael Jackson workshop. He's doing that workshop this weekend but I'll be out of town. 'Twasn't meant to be!

Unfortunately - and there's always a but, isn't there - Elliot will be moving to L.A. for a few months after May 1st. He is, I believe, going over there to follow a dream and I wish him all the best for it. He says he'll be back later in the year to teach more at Frame, so you can bet I'll be waiting with bated breath!

And bringing it all back to Glee... I'll be going to Hairbrush Heroes' Glee Special tomorrow night... and I need to dress up as one of the characters! Which one should I go as? Emma? Sue? Kurt?! I don't think I can be anywhere near as camp as I need to be for Kurt, but it'll certainly be an unexpected choice!

I became my day with my maiden Power Plate session (perfect for someone who does a fair amount of cardio but comparatively little weights and toning exercises). The lovely trainer assured me I'd ache like hell tomorrow, but seeing as that would only happen tomorrow, I ought not to worry about the fact that I had a four hour swing dance workshop coming up later in the day. The Power Plate session was as intense as every article on it leads you to believe. I thought my teeth would fall out at one point, and let's just say that sitting on it makes one feel very strange (no, not in a good way).

Then it was off to Borough Market to confirm that Monmouth Coffee's stall at the market itself is no longer there, though the store still exists. Much to my joy - though I got in line for a Monmouth cappuccino anyway (note to self: must remember they only use whole milk) - I found a little stall next to Cafe Brood which sells Union coffee (also used by Taylor St Baristas, LJ Coffee House and Artisan Coffee Company, all of whose coffee I'd recommend). I'll have to check it out the next time I'm there. Borough Market, it must be noted, is not the best place to go when you're vegetarian, which I was today, in order to make up for my going to Byron for a proper burger yesterday.

After that, four hours of swing dancing as taught by Kieran Yee of Swing Patrol. All in all, all four workshops ("Ooze more groove", "Fast dancing", "Solo charleston moves" and "Dips and tricks") were great, though parts of it reinforced what I didn't like about getting back into social dancing. For instance, Swing Patrol's swing-outs are different from the swing-outs I was taught to do. At least, I think they are. Could be I'm just constantly repeating the same mistake over and over again. I don't know. It's just hard when I keep thinking, surely I was better than this last time around? And if I wasn't, then why bother?

And after all of that, I somehow mustered the strength to go catch the fireworks in a part of London I hadn't been before, and decided to brave it anyway. And I'm glad I did. I really love fireworks, and while watching them tonight, I just thought to myself, this is the best year ever. Yes, I've been through a fair amount of grief, and, yes, I'm still just as insecure and full of doubt as I've ever been. I don't mention this simply because I'd like to remind people that 2009 began on a really bad note for me, but just that I look back at that and marvel at how I've managed to recover.

As I said, I've survived. I've found happiness in just being by myself and pushing myself as best as I can to get out there and experience as much as I can (Hip Hop Karaoke and fireworks being two cases in point). I've grown... and I'm still finding moments of intense joy in my life rather unexpectedly.

And given the vast room for improvement that exists in my life, that just means the forthcoming years will be ever better!

Hakeem's Xpress Yo'self dance class is one of the most fun classes I've ever attended. I think a dance class ought to stretch you, by teaching you new moves and let you find your own style and personality. Not only does Hakeem manage to achieve both, but he is so full of energy and humour that the class never feels intimidating, even when you're doing the 'dance-off' most dance teachers do nowadays (i.e. splitting the class in half so that only half the class is dancing at any one time).

Last week, I was feeling rather distressed during the class and was wondering whether I'd attempted a level too hard for me, and also a little upset as there was no way I'd be able to go for a lower level as I couldn't leave work that early. This week, while I still didn't nail the routine, I was actually having fun, especially when I stopped focusing so hard on the people in front of me and just let my body do my own thing.

I'd always preferred social dancing, and I guess one reason is because I don't have to worry so hard about my hands and feet. Contrast this with solo dances, like hip hop and street jazz, which usually have both your hands and feet moving. I can usually do one or the other, but not both. However, in Hakeem's class, while I'm still having trouble during some parts, I'm not finding it as tough as I usually do. More to the point, I actually don't look too bad doing whatever facisimile it is that Hakeem's doing.

I'm almost upset that I'll be missing his class next week because I'll be on vacation. His class has been one of the things I look forward to every week because it helps relieve so much of the stress that I've been under. Some people find their happy place doing yoga... I think I've found mine Xpress'ing myself.

I meant to re-start my stuttering dance campaign today. Really, I did. But after having gone to bed between midnight and 1 am today, and waking up some time before 6.30 am in order to transport everything I purchased over the weekend back to my flat, I was just too tired to drag myself out of the office for my first dance class in, well, a very long time.

The campaign, initially launched the first day I started working, has seen few periods of activity; in fact, the longer the gap between such periods, the less inclined I am to go to a dance class, suffering from both the fear that age has dulled my hand and leg co-ordination ability (not terribly good at the best of times, as I really can only focus on one area at one time), as well as the fact that while I am getting older, the age of the students which form up the large majority of any class I attend is not moving along with me.

Perhaps I should take heed and move on to more mature classes like line dancing. I kid. I still love to groove, regardless of the deterioration in my psycho-motor skills, and until my body tells me I really can't keep doing this, I'll continue to give it my level best. So tomorrow, I'll pop along to class.

Wow, I'm on Day 2 of Benji fangirldom. It sure didn't take much to convert me - just two workshops and one dance.

As some of my friends know, I really wasn't a big fan of Benji's during So You Think You Can Dance. I thought he was too goofy and didn't take things seriously enough even though he was a swing dancer. Maybe it was because I didn't follow SYTYCD, but rather, only managed to catch the last two episodes thanks to my long office hours, so wasn't exposed to the full Benji effect. Incidentally, Benji's sister, Lacey, will be on the next season of SYTYCD.

Anecdotes from yesterday's workshops include Benji:

• Telling us about how there is plenty of technique in swing dance and how he took offence at SYTYCD judge Mia Michaels telling him - and the rest of America - that he wasn't as technical a dancer as the other contestants. "I've been training, and now I can do as many spins as Nick and Travis. Ten pirouettes," he stated proudly. "And when I see Mia, I'm going to say, 'YEAH!'" making the universal "in your face" gesture. Hee!
• Being slightly obsessed about a shellfish he had eaten for lunch (I'm guessing at the Victoria St food court) which stained his lips purple, which he noticed whenever he happened to look in the mirror for too long. "I didn't kiss anyone, I swear!" he told us.
• Doing some pretty mean beatboxing when he put on a piece of music for the West Coast Swing workshop and asked us to feel the music. It reminded me of Lennart (from the Rhythm Hotshots) and his "boom boom be-dop shoo wop be dop" method of feeling of the music, which sounds rather weird when written down but works amazingly well.
  
• Speaking Singlish which a bunch of young students from the West Coast Swing workshop were teaching him. "Si bei suay ah!" and "wah lau!" seemed to be among his favourites.
• Taking his sweat-soaked Bruce Lee T-shirt off after the Swazz workshop and searching for the restroom so that he could change. Needless to say, us girls were delighted.
  

Benji's workshops were a lot of fun. Tough but fun. The warm-up was killer; my thighs were starting to shake from the strain of all the stretches, and the abs section of the warm-up felt like some kind of boot camp work-out.

The first workshop was a 1.5 hour Swazz workshop. Swazz, for the uninitiated (and that included me just a few days ago), is the dance style which Benji came up with for his solo dance for the So You Think You Can Dance finals. It's a solo jazz dance which has a lot of swing elements, and is pretty fun to do. I'm not a big fan of jazz dance but I definitely enjoyed myself even though I felt a little out of my league given the number of people who came from a jazz dance background in the class. It's great learning from someone who's so passionate about dance, and yet at the same time, loves to goof around without being so pissy about the proper technique and needing to have the perfect jazz kick and so on.

And the best part of that workshop? He asked us to film him dancing so he could put it up on his MySpace to show others that Singapore has dance too. I'm really glad I have this habit of bringing my digital camera out to any big event I go to.

The second workshop was a 1.5 hour West Coast Swing (WCS) workshop. WCS isn't danced in Singapore, as far as I'm aware, and so, every one of us in the class started off more or less on the same level. Benji pretty much taught the basics of WCS, starting from the anchor step, and including basic steps such as the sugar push, whip, inside arm turn and so on. One of the great things about WCS is that it can be done to any kind of music. I've been looking for a social dance with one particular feature for so long so it's nice to know that that kind of dance does actually exist.

Sadly, there wasn't any social dance during the workshop given how much he had to get through, but I did get the chance to partner him when he was demonstrating a move. Fortunately for me, it was also the time when he wanted us to dance to music, so after he went through the routine with me, he continued dancing and doing some rather different and cheeky moves for about 30 seconds to a minute and while I was intimidated (which he - and everyone else - could see), it was most definitely a lot of fun dancing with him. (Cue total and complete fangirl gush and meltdown a la time I danced with Daniel Heedman)

These past few days have been absolutely fantastic, and the Benji dance workshops are most definitely icing on the cake.

Originally written on March 31:

Just about a fortnight ago, I caught the Stomp the Yard dance battle finals at Club Momo, of all places. Mind you, I've never been to the club before, and after the slew of clubs and bars which have opened up in 2006, was more than a little surprised that it was still open, but I digress.
(Edit: Club Momo has since closed for renovation and will be re-branded Velvet Dragon. Erk.)

I wouldn't normally have gone to see the competition, but this one featured guest judges Ashle Dawson and Ashlee Nino, both of whom were finalists on So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD for short, seasons 1 and 2 respectively).

The categories for the battle were hip hop, b-boy/b-girl and popping & locking. Knowing T.'s a big fan of popping & locking, as well as SYTYCD, I told him about this event, and lo and behold, we two were set for our maiden voyage to Momo-land.

We got there a little early, around 9 pm, because I'd misinterpreted Power 98's free entry promotion to mean that the contest would start around 8 pm. Unfortunately for us, the contest actually began at 11 pm and we were forced to kill two hours at the club. Fortunately, the club had pool tables, and I had fun re-learning how to play pool and generally posing as a pro while having my ass roundly kicked by T. My only consolation was that the game lasted a little longer than it should have because after T. had potted most of his balls, it turned out all of my balls were blocking the holes which T. was going for. Nyahahahaha.

Anyway, we managed to catch some of the finalists rehearsing and were actually rather apprehensive about whether it'd be a wasted night. I'm happy to report that this was an erroneous conclusion; apparently, the finalists were saving their energy for the real thing and that's why everything looked so lacklustre during rehearsals. I'm almost tempted to spend a weekend at the Raffles Link underpass just to check out them out.

We also got treated to a solo performance from Ashle and Ashlee. They were both fun to watch, although thanks to the number of people there, as well as my general lack of height, I missed seeing Ashle do the move I am in awe of: the effortless getting up from being on her knees without needing to use her arms or anything else for support. I may be a little more impressed by that than most because I've got knee injuries, but I'm sure it still looks good even to a completely uninjured party.

I'll admit I couldn't see much of Ashlee's popping either, but I had so much fun just watching the competition (and listening to T. explain what locking and popping are) that I ended up going for my very first locking and popping classes just a fortnight after. The teacher, Michael from Studio Wu, has got to be the least intimidating of all the dance teachers I have ever had, and it was absolutely wonderful. I'll definitely go back for more after my exam's over.

I attended my first dance class in almost a year today. It felt good. It's not any of the styles I'm most known for, but it's not exactly new to me either, so I guess you could say today's class felt a little more like re-reading a treasured book for the fifth time, rather than returning to a old and forgotten love for me.

As I was explaining to a friend recently, the last time I was dancing regularly, I felt happier and more confident, for some reason I couldn't quite explain. So here I am, returning to some form of it, searching for some of the confidence and self-assurance I seem to have lost in the years that I've been working.

That, and of course the stress relieving effect any physical activity has on me.

I first took up dance when I was waiting for my A Level results. I'd always liked listening to pop music, but it was only when I learnt the mass dance that comes with every junior college orientation that I discovered how much I liked to move to it too.

Being the practical student that I was, I waited till after my studies were over before taking on any additional extracurricular activities. It just so happened that during this time, I wasn't having the easiest of times with my first boyfriend, seeing as both of us were thousands of miles apart. I threw myself into other activities - more dance classes, boxercise, anything - in an effort to expel some of the stress I was undergoing at the time.

That summer, the relationship ended. I prepared for my own entrance into university, left home and ran into a someone about to found the dance society I would later become president of, and promptly began a serious relationship with a new-found love.

Now, many years later, even though my dedication to classes and learning has been on and off, my affection for dancing itself has never waned. Essentially, this is the longest relationship I've had in my life to date.

So, lover, here's to today and here's to many more years of happiness together.

If you saw a female dressed in a suit walking like a cowboy today, that would be me. I managed to re-injure my knee and strain my - for lack of a better word - groin over the weekend. Now I know why those footballers get put out of action for so long.

No, you perverts. Get your minds out of the gutter. I managed to hurt myself while teaching intellectually disabled adults how to dance when I took part in Care to Dance on Saturday.

Care to Dance is organised by the YMCA of Singapore and conducted by the Lindy Hop Ensemble. In a nutshell, it's "all about unleashing youthful energy, developing creative potential, giving back to the community" and is organised as part of the SHINE youth festival. There are four Care to Dance sessions. Each session features two different dances: the Bombay Boogie, a Bollywood-inspired dance, and a dance from the '40s to the '70s, depending on the session. Volunteers will learn these dances in the morning, and teach it to the beneficiaries in the afternoon.

Not that many people knew I was volunteering. The reason is clearly illustrated in the exchange between S., the guy I had that first date with, and I during said date.

Me: I'm a capitalist consumer. I'm not like [mutual friend]. I don't care about people. I only like animals.
[later on]
S.: So what dance plans do you have?
Me: I'm teaching underprivileged kids* how to dance.
S.: Ooooh. You're not so tough after all. You're going to ruin your reputation if you keep that up!
Me: Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

[*I later found out that the beneficiaries for my session had been changed.]

The day started out with a series of dance workshops teaching the 90 volunteers the different dance steps we would be teaching the beneficiaries coming later that day. This was followed by an informational session on how to deal with the beneficiaries. On that particular day, the beneficiaries turned out to be intellectually disabled adults from MINDS, Bishan Home for the Intellectually Disabled, Y Stars and the Association of Persons with Special Needs.

Now, I would much rather have helped out with the sessions that had beneficiaries from children's homes given that I, and I'm sure many other people as well, am not too sure how to handle well, the intellectually disabled. But I was determined to give this my best shot.

During the info session, one of the ice-breaker games that the facilitators suggested was called "Squirrel and Tree," which is a little too complicated to explain here. Suffice it to say that if you're playing the game, and you're a squirrel (and yes, you will be a squirrel at some point during the game if you play it for any amount of time), you will be squatting. A lot. And that's how I injured myself. I'm getting old after all, and I was never meant to be an ah beng.

After lunch, the beneficiaries arrived. Each group took care of a group from one of the charities. In our case, it was one of the groups from Bishan Home. Our group was large enough that one of us was assigned to one of the beneficiaries. The beneficiary I ended up with, FT, was a very quiet, middle-aged (late 40s, early 50s) male and Felix, the social worker from the home, told me that FT liked familiar faces and would probably take a very long time to respond to me, and not to be disheartened if he didn't warm up to me at all that day.

And indeed, that proved to be the case. I spoke to him in a mixture of English and Mandarin, and while he glanced at me, his only response was either a nod, or a hand gesture. The group played a couple of icebreakers (no, not "Squirrel and Tree" which we felt was way too complicated to be played with our beneficiaries) and FT appeared to relax just a little.

During the Bombay Boogie dance workshop, I managed to get FT's attention for a small part of it, and he tended to follow my footwork, although his attention tended to wander very quickly. I decided not to press him too much for this particular segment, because I felt the dance was a little too difficult for even the volunteers, and Felix had asked us not to tire them out too much after all. However, when one of the regular volunteers from the home came around and stood in front of him, doing the gestures, FT's eyes would brighten up and he would follow. I definitely saw what Felix meant about FT needed familiarity.

The next dance was a disco-themed dance and at first, I was worried that FT was too tired to learn, and again I didn't want to push him. He definitely wasn't interested in the first part of the dance, but I kept trying (by gently touching him on the shoulder and doing the moves with him) and to my delight, he really got into the spirit of the second part. I don't think it had anything much to do with me as I think one of the social workers was standing off to the side, encouraging him to have fun. Nevertheless, seeing the grin on his face as he followed my hand movements felt good.

At the end of the entire session, I guided him back to his social worker. As the group left to return to their bus, I gave him a little wave and was rewarded by a return wave, and that definitely made everything all worthwhile.

I had one of the best weekends of my life at SEA Jam. The Harlem Hot Shots were wonderful as teachers and as performers, and being able to learn from Frankie Manning is at once incredible and awe-inspiring. I could go on a lot more about the camp and how it made me rediscover just how happy swing dancing makes me, but that is for another entry, one that will hopefully come very soon.

Instead, let me gush on about the hottest guy I have ever seen in my life (or so far as I recall): Daniel from the Hot Shots. Tall, blond, blue-eyed, friendly, nice accent and a great dancer. In other words, more than perfect. The funny thing is, he's only hot whenever he wears his spectacles. Otherwise, I wouldn't have noticed him at all. It took a great amount of courage on my part to walk up to him yesterday night and get a photo with him, half making up some story to explain why I wanted his photo, because damn it, that man knows he's good-looking. And he was very nice and almost cheeky about it too. If only there were some way that I'd get to go out on a date and dance with him, and seriously, I'd be on cloud nine for many many many days.

Here's a photo of him, taken from the Hot Shots' web site (obviously, he's the only man in the photo):
In case you're wondering why it is that I chat up good looking guys and all that, let me chalk it up to this: I didn't really consider myself as being all that good-looking until some time during university. In fact, quite the opposite. Those who know me personally may be rather astonished on learning that, but when you've had a guy call you up to taunt you about being ugly during your junior college days (in respose to my rejecting a friend of his who had bet a couple of hundred dollars that he could get me to go out with him, but I didn't know this until much later) , I'd say you'd probably react the same way I did, which is half believe that he's correct until one day, you believe in yourself more and start ignoring your detractors. So when I find someone who blows me away like Daniel or the guy in my office, I will go out on a limb and seize the moment because well, life's too short and I have enough confidence in my own attributes and the general niceness of people. I don't care if you consider me as being excessively frivolous or bimbotic because I know I'm not, and if I don't succeed in getting to my objective, at least it's not for want of trying.

We won the third place! Yay! After all that hard work and sacrifice, I'm so glad we managed to get something. I've got to tell you the rivalry between the different departments was so intense and political; at one point, it dwarfed any of the Raffles-other school rivalries that I've seen. So now, I just have one more obstacle left to having a good time - the CFA Level I exam next Sunday. I sure hope my luck holds out.

On Wednesday, I was rather down over not being able to nail the steps and looks needed for our particular segment of the performance in spite of being the one with most dance background. Part of it was that I'm just not that good at jazz dance, much preferring those that don't require so much posing and poise, and the other part was confidence. I've always had a problem with that and I envy those who can get up on stage - whether as part of a performance or just to ham things up - without ever caring what other people think (always consoling myself with the excuse that they're in a senior position so they can afford it, or that they're good and they know they are, whereas I'm just average and not good enough to be up to) and dearly wish I could be like them one day soon.

But yesterday night, in spite of the fear and the body-hugging costume I was wearing (because I wanted to look good, and damn, did I succeed ;o)), we managed to give it our all when the time came. I finally managed to nail the walk and the haughty look (with the help of my colleague who did a fantastic job in giving me incredibly sexy, smouldering smokey eyes) and we caught the eye of many people with our colourful accessories and precise movements.

So here's hoping that the same thing happens with my exam. I'm so far behind in my studying but have taken most of the next week off to cram...