So yet another of my extended family has joined me in London for work. It's good, because I've been feeling rather lonely in this great big city. Most of the people I know here are people I work with. While they're for the most part great people, nevertheless, I just don't want to spend too much time with people I work with, especially because there's a danger I might let my guard down against people who just may use something against me later on.

In any case, my cousin is here, and he wants to hang out and introduce me to some of his friends which is very nice of him. I'm not terribly close to most of my extended family as I'm one of the youngest with the age gap between my older cousins and I rather significant at five years or greater. Then there're the one or two who are around my age and we get along swimmingly, this being one of them.

So, yes, I'm glad. I don't know even 10% as many people as I do in Singapore (or so it would feel) but at least this place just got a little less lonely.

It's always a bit of an uphill battle when it comes to logging in to check the results of the CFA examinations, especially when you choose to log in around the time the results are posted. I must have been stuck on the page where it said "Pass rate: 53%" for about 20 minutes before finally managing to log-in and get my results.
When I first saw the magic word on the top left-hand corner of my screen, I blinked in relief. That's my usual initial reaction to anything. If I'm shocked, scared, confused, relieved, etc. I blink. This time around, I recall thinking, "No, no, no! Don't close your eyes! The screen might change!" That's how relieved and shocked I was.

Then, I stood up, my hand over my mouth in shock, and proceeded to get a bit teary whereupon my manager asked, "Is that good or bad?" and I just said, with a great deal of emotion in my voice (rather like Rachel in Friends), "It's good, it's good!" and smiled so widely that I was later told I was practically radiating happiness.
Ah... good times.

How on earth can I still miss someone so much in spite of having just spoken to him on the phone? It seems as if the more we speak, the more we miss each other, while, logically speaking, shouldn't the contact help to alleviate this?

I guess if I'm not already on the crumbling edge of the cliff, then I've already flung myself down.

I just hope I manage to build my wings on the way down.

I got back from an amazing work trip a few hours ago, just in time to make my dance class, which topped off an incredible few days I've had. It feels as if I'm living the dream right now, and it's a great feeling.

I'm also on the verge of turning into one half of the couple I love to hate. I'm rational enough to recognise what could happen and nip it in the bud, but it is such a dizzying, intoxicating sensation, being in love is. Even better when the feeling's returned!

I have had a frenetic weekend. In between work and South West Four, I'm a little tired out. I have just returned from the office, having sent out a couple of e-mails on things which need to be cleared up before I go on vacation next week, and am currently packing for a flight I have to catch in a few hours. 

So it was much to my amusement when I received an e-mail reminder from 43 Things on a goal I had set for myself many years ago: learn to relax.

Clearly something I haven't quite managed to do just yet!

Heading to South West Four in about over 12 hours from now and listening to Carl Cox's set at Space in Ibiza live on Kiss FM right, having returned home from the office just about an hour ago. He's very good! I wonder why I always thought I didn't like his stuff. Hmmm.

Anyway, I'll be going to see John Digweed, Danny Tenaglia, Sister Bliss, Claude Von Stroke, SOS and now, Carl Cox tomorrow... and then after that, the official afterparty at Clapham Grand: Bedrock with John Digweed!

After this, the next big clubbing event on my radar is still to be decided... either one of the opening parties at matter or Fatboy Slim's Big Beach Boutique 4 in Brighton, which, sadly, clashes with Sasha's Renaissance at matter!

To heck with thinking. A week without him isn't going to make me any less scared, nor is it going to change my mind or the way I feel. And truth be told, I have been thinking about this for the last few weeks or so.

So there you have it, unexpectedly and against all odds (well, maybe not that bad, I'm not that bad a catch after all), less than 10 months after moving to the UK, I now have a boyfriend in my life.

Oh, but I am going to miss him over the next few days!

There is an incredibly amazing guy in my life right now, and he's asked me to be his girlfriend. Every instinct I have is telling me to say yes, because, quite honestly, when I see him, I light up. Even getting to see him for only a few minutes brightens my day. And we get along so fantastically well, which is what brought us together in the first place.

This is the same guy whose look of awe and stunned admiration when I came out of the fitting room in that amazing dress clued me in as to how he felt about me, the same one who's told me that - at a time when I was joking about needing a back-up guy - that he'd always be there when I need him, and that there'd be no expiry nor specific exercise date to that particular call option, the one who told me that he loves me and that I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, who sent me sunflowers on Tuesday because he figured, regardless of how the results went, they would either cheer me up or commerate an already awesome occasion.

This is also the guy who, when I confessed what was holding me back, that I felt falling in love was like throwing oneself off a cliff, and that a relationship was only enjoyable while you were in free fall and could come close to killing you once you hit the ground, told me, firstly, not to think of it as a cliff, and secondly, even if it was, he'd catch me.

And yet, I haven't said yes. There's something stopping me, just this fear that if I say yes, I'm opening the door to getting really hurt. I think it's something residual from my past relationships, the ones which took me such a long time to get over that I'm really just not willing to have to go through all of that again, especially because, face it, at my age, being committed to someone who turns out to be wrong for you represents a big opportunity cost.

"I think you should stop thinking about how you feel when I'm not there, and more about how you feel when I'm here," he told me last week, after I asked for some time apart so that I could think about this more rationally. And truth be told, my heart explodes a little with happiness when he's around.

My thinking time starts from tonight. I really hope I can come to some sort of decision soon, because I know one thing for sure. I don't want our relationship to go back to being platonic.

I passed! I passed! I PASSED!

Three for three! And my treble too!

The Dark Knight at the BFI Imax was a visual spectacular. The film, which stands at an amazing 94% at Rotten Tomatoes currently, was good enough on its own to be viewed anyway, but on Imax, everything was ten times better - clearer, louder, and just... wow!

As everyone knows, Heath Ledger's performance of the Joker was incredible. The villain's tagline, "Why so serious?" just sent shivers down my spine. His turn as the psychotic, sadistic "agent of chaos" (in his own words) was simply breathtaking. Definitely one of the scariest villains I've ever seen on the big screen.

Christian Bale didn't really do anything other than play Bruce Wayne the way he played Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, except without the sex and sadistic tendencies. He still has an amazing body though. Da-yum!

Christopher Nolan's vision of Gotham City was a sight to behold... particularly in the scene when Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) gets thrown off the roof of a skyscraper. Definitely not a scene to watch on Imax if you happen to see from vertigo!

I'll end off here as work beckons.

Oh, happy day! The Light has been saved... for now at least!

Looking forward to another crazy Loft Party in September!

Erk. Just under 14 days to go now. I predict the bad dreams which plagued my sleep in the run-up to the release of the Level II results will begin in a few days time.

I really, really, really do not think I can go through this next year. God willing - and St. Jude and St. Joseph of Cupertino as well! - I won't have to... and in a good way!

I'd almost forgotten how special first kisses could be. It may have taken place at a most unexpected location, as a surprisingly efficient yet unplanned counter to a discussion/debate which has been cropping up reguarly, and done by a most unexpected person, at a rare time when I was both completely and utterly sober and well-rested, but it was still enough to stun me into speechlessness and keep me half-giddy all the way home.

I may not yet have decided on whether to keep this year's It Dress (bought in a moment of impulse because I do occasionally (hah!) indulge in fashion hype) but it certainly has been keeping true to its name ever since it arrived on Thursday.

Apparently, Danny Howells played an epic 10 hour set on the last night ARC in NYC was open. The tracklisting can be found here while the set can be downloaded here.

Enjoy!

[via TranceAddict forums]

I keep saying I'll post more on the events I've been to but somehow never do just because the backlog keeps building up! So here're a couple of sentences on Sundae on the Common.

Why did I go?

1. The Guillemots
2. Unlimited ice-cream
3. Fairground attractions

This performance by Fyfe of Falling Out of Reach best illustrates why I love the Guillemots so much to the point that I've gone to see them three times so far since March. Each time has been absolutely magical, filled with great musical ability and incredibly quirky showmanship ("Follow my leg." Hee!). The part starting at 3:29 was definitely a nice touch. I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching them. I love listening to Made Up Love Song #43 live, although I do wish they would play Annie, Let's Not Wait just once!

But the song which completely blew me away was their performance of Don't Look Down. When I heard them play it, I was absolutely breathless. It just felt as if every single element of music I love was combined into one perfect song. It's part Coldplay, part U2, part Snow Patrol. I know that sounds weird, messy and potentially hideous, but it's not. The song starts off sounding rather serious before turning rather hopeful and pretty as the other instruments and backing vocals kick in, and then all of a sudden, it builds up into a heady, frenetic, almost-chaotic second half... in fact, this part is almost drum and bass-like. The live performance mesmerised me compeltely.

And on someone fuelled by four scoops of incredibly delicious ice-cream, that isn't an easy thing to do.

This is just incredibly sweet. Panels 1 to 3 would have worked on their own, but 4 just takes the cake!

Oh my God! In spite of having gone to bed just over 24 hours ago and getting up about 3.5 hours later to go for a work-related meeting which was taking place out of town, I decided to go for AKA's 10th birthday celebration, which had a whole slew of renowned acts, including one of my favourite live acts, Basement Jaxx.

I had expected them to play much later given doors opened at 10 pm and promised to stay open till "very late". As it turned out, I got to the club at midnight, just as the Jaxx began DJing in the main room of The End. Lucky me!

So there I was, happily dancing away near the front of the DJ booth, with one or two minor nuisances as is usual with lone female clubbers. I'd noticed one half of the Jaxx - bespectacled Felix - looking my way every now and then but thought nothing of it, because I was quite certain you couldn't really see anything while up there. I just continued dancing, showing my immense pleasure when Samba Magic, my favourite of all of their tracks, came on as the penultimate tune of their set.

Imagine my complete surprise when, after their set was over and I'd finally plucked up the courage to tell Felix that I thought their set was wonderful after walking past him for the third time in 15 minutes, he asked me where I was from. He then walked off to the DJ booth to collect something, and on his return journey, which took him past where I was dancing, he asked me my name and introduced himself as Felix. It was a little surreal for me and, after he walked off, I continued dancing to The Shapeshifters' set but, every now and then, a broad grin would appear on my face.

After about another 20 minutes or so, Felix came by looking for something, told me he'd lost his friends and invited me for a drink. I thought, "what the heck" and followed him to AKA. It was my first time ever at AKA, which was very nicely decorated with snowflakes in line with the Narnia theme of the party, and my surprise and awe was quite evident, much to Felix's amusement.

We chatted for a bit about how I found London, how he found Singapore when the Jaxx played at Zouk ten years ago, and what kind of music I liked (with him telling me that I should give John Coltrane - My Favourite Things and Alice Coltrane - Journey in Satchidananda if I like Louis Armstrong). He mentioned he thought he'd drank way too much vodka (there was definitely a whole bottle of vodka which was consumed while he and Simon were DJing, that I noticed) and that he would be heading home soon, and that he'd see me around in London.

I ended up following him out because of the human traffic congestion on the stairs. Felix went in search of a smoke, asking two different groups for cigarettes before someone who obviously knew him tapped him on the shoulder to offer him one. This led to my being introduced to Femi B, provider of said cigarette. After the smoking was done, Felix and I walked to the cab office whereupon I bade him good night and good luck with the new album and made my way to the bus stop to catch my nightbus home.

And yes, you guessed it, I half-skipped, half-floated all the way home.

It was such an incredible thing to happen. I never thought I'd end up talking to one half of my favourite dance acts ever... and definitely nothing more meaningful than a "I love your music! When are you next playing?" kind of thing.