I just completely snapped today. I felt so incredibly frustrated at what I was doing, and so terribly underappreciated that I just pretty much trudged through the later half of the afternoon in an angry funk while still trying to get some work done.

Later on, when grumbling to MD, turning the air blue with my gratituitous use of swear words, then ending off with an angry, "Maybe I should just move to the Middle East and join someone's harem..." only to hear a plaintive, slightly anguished mewl in protest in response.

It was so unexpected and so sweet that I just burst out into a startled laugh, then a small smile and then continued giggling as I realised that that was the first time I had laughed the whole day.

It's just been one of those days, I guess... and I'm so lucky to have such an understanding boyfriend who's capable of making me laugh even when I'm in the blackest of moods!

I have finally twigged as to why I dislike Dan in Gossip Girl  - even though I'll concede his holding a torch for a beautiful girl whom he's been admiring from afar for two years is still rather sweet - and why I think Serena turning the whole school against him, as it would appear in Ep 2.04 The Ex-Files, is justified... or at the very least, well-deserved.

It's because I went out with someone similar with him a couple of years ago. Someone who was a pretty nice guy - witty, helpful, resourceful - but, at the same time, just a little too toxic when it comes to relationships. I don't know why I let myself go out with a guy who, after the initial honeymoon period which was just way too short, pretty much constantly put me down, belittling my opinions and dreams. I got myself out of it after a few weeks, but I don't know why I put up with it for the short time that I did. I still can't stand him even though it's been almost two years.

And, to my mind, Dan is exactly that kind of guy. And I've been waiting for that kind of guy to get his comeuppance for quite a while now.

There are a number of questions I need answered now - or some time soon:

1. I have purchased some figs, but haven't a clue as to how to eat them. Can I eat them like apples? Do I need to split them in two and spoon out the inside?
2. Should I go to Deadmau5 at Matter on Thursday given the time it's scheduled to run is from 8 pm to 11.30 pm so I should still be able to get back home without too much fuss?
3. Will work be such that I'll be able to leave the office 'early' two nights in a row in order to catch Of Montreal and The Pipettes in a couple of weeks? I have yet to buy tickets because I'm not sure if I can.
4. What field of work do I want to go into next? I'm very tired of what I'm doing now - though given the state of the economy, I doubt it's a good time to move - but still, it's never too early to think and prepare about moving.

I can get answers to the first two pretty easily - all praise all mighty Google for the first, and as for the second.. c'mon, a guy who DJs wearing a giant red mouse head? Who could resist that? - but how on earth do I get answers to the fourth?

How cool was the first F1 night race in Singapore?

Even though the guy I was rooting for didn't get on the scoreboard, it was, nevertheless, a far more exciting race than I expected it to be. I don't think anyone expected Massa to have quite the disastrous race he had, nor the fact that there was more overtaking than expected, given the track had quite a few curves and bends (or so I'm told). Nor did I expect there to be so many crashes (Piquet, Sutil and Raikkonen) particularly since there was no rain at all. Given how tight the drivers' championship was before heading into today's race, I fully expect whoever was responsible for Massa's mess with the refuelling hose will be - rightfully - sacked.

How amazing a race did Alonso have? Starting in 15th and finishing in 1st? Blimey. Bloody brilliant bit of driving, that was!

I'm not at all a big F1 fan - or even a fan at all, though I don't mind watching the race and I do know some of the drivers' names - and MD started laughing at how just how into the race I was getting, particularly when the safety car came out with nine laps to go and I just started yelling, "Get off! Get off! It's not fun anymore!"

In any case, the race track looked stunning. 3.1 miles of incredibly brightly-lit roads - the track looked as bright as any day race I've ever caught on television - and yet, the beautiful skyline, particularly that of the CBD, looked awesome whenever the camera panned up the sparkling buildings.

You may think I'm slightly crazy for calling Singapore, but I have often felt Singapore to be a match for any city in the world in terms of beautiful skylines during the night. Just go to New Asia Bar and took a look out the window. It is a magnificent view.

And given the run-up to the race this year - the Red Bull party with Maxi Jazz of Faithless (d'oh!) on Thursday night, the Chivas Regal party with Chicane (double d'oh!) on Friday night and Carl Cox at Zouk last night - I wouldn't have needed to party for weeks!

The return of Queen Serena in Ep 2.04 The Ex-Files of Gossip Girl rocks my world. I'm just sad it has to come at the expense of her friendship with Blair. If that's the old Serena, I wonder how on earth she and Blair ever got to be best friends to begin with?

And true, she may be an uber-bitch of the highest order now (check out the look on her face when she walks into the courtyard and eyes Dan with disgust, rightfully justified in putting Dan into the high school realm he has been begging for all along, what with his holier-than-thou attitude), but, man, is she one heck of a badass.

I totally have a girl-crush on Serena (Blake Lively), even more than when she was sweet, compassionate season 1 Serena.

On the way to the O2:

Walking behind D. and his friend, M., who is looking absolutely ludicrous wearing a full-length black leather coat on the last day of what has admittedly been a chilly English summer, only to hear someone who has just walked past D. and M. yell: The Matrix is calling you, Neo!

You, good sir, are a genius.

On the dance floor watching the weird examples of dancing around us:

P. leans over and says, "D. is dancing like a woman with loose morals."

Indeed he was. I like to think I've managed to amalgamate the good points of male (controlled power and aggression) and female (sexiness and grace) dancing into one amazing package (ha ha ha ha ha ha) but D. hasn't quite managed that, it would appear.

Matter's Club launch last night featured Carl Cox spinning a five-hour set. Due to the club's location (North Greenwich) and my having to work today, I left at 3.30 am, only getting to hear 1.5 hours of his set. If I didn't have anything else on today, I wouldn't have left that early as the music was awesome. I only really started liking Cox's style when I was listening to his set at Space in Ibiza live on Kiss FM the day before he was due to perform at SW4. I wonder why it took me so long to finally appreciate the genius of the big black Cox, but I'm glad he's still around for me to do so.

I was initially rather sceptical about the so-called revolutionary BodyKinetic Dance Floor at Matter; I mean, so what if you can feel the music through your feet? Does that really make a difference? The very fact I can feel the music so strongly at Ministry of Sound in Singapore makes me very uncomfortable to the point of being physically ill, so suffice it to say, I had some doubts.

I'm glad to report that contrary to my misgivings, the dance floor is pretty damn good to dance on (particularly when no drinks have been spilt on it). It's smooth - proper dancer smooth - and you do feel the music through your feet - but not so much as to cause discomfort. Couple that with the awesome sound system that Matter has in place, the great lighting system and the incredible visuals (Current world #1 VJs (as voted by DJ Mag) Inside-Us-All are the resident), and you get a fully immersive clubbing experience.

In a way, it reminded me of Zouk before it was renovated a few years ago. It had the whole underground vibe, but with all the spanking new gadgets and gimmicks which add to the experiencde, rather than detract from it.

The facilities, I'm happy to say, were also good. There were sufficient lavatories such that the queue was practically non-existent. Every cubicle had toilet paper and the hand-dryers were of the Dyson super-fast variety which I quite like. The cloak room was cheap at £1 an item, and we were served fairly quickly at the bar. Drinks were priced the same as any other top-end club in London (a Becks and a bottle of water cost £3.90).

My main beef, however, was to do with transportation. Getting there was not too difficult in spite of the Jubilee line being suspended for engineering works - I had to take a bus to the Wharf, (passing Lehman's now-dark offices at 25 Bank Street which made me feel a little sad considering the number of times I've walked past it late at night taking some comfort from how brightly-lit the area was) and change to another one going to the O2 - but getting back home was not at all easy! According to Matter's web site, the Thames Clipper runs every half-hour back to Central London. However, I didn't see anyone or any directions as to how to get there when I exited the club. The cab queue, which, strangely enough, was just called "Matter Transport Information", did not look too long by the time we joined it, but, man, the cabs were few and far between. I think we ended up waiting 45 minutes just to get a cab. We couldn't call one either because of the monopoly Matter has in the area.

If it's going to be so hard just to get home (tired clubbers do not want to stand for another 45 minutes just to get home - and this isn't even when the night has ended - particularly not if I have to stand there suffering the whinings of drunk or even sober typical English clubbers), then Matter's going to have to work really hard to ensure that the journey's worth it. I'll have to give the Clipper a go the next time I venture to Matter (October 10 - Bedrock's 10th anniversary) and see if that works better.

All in all, after a series of clubs shutting down in London, it's good to see such a nice, technologically-advanced club which manages to maintain the proper clubbing vibe (in my book) pop up. I hope the transportation kinks are sorted out over the next few weeks and that this venue will continue to feature in my thinking as one of the places to go.

Ah, so there was one kind samaritan attempting to help Lehman out just before it collapsed by giving it a €300 million shot in the arm (aka Germany's (and possibly the world's) dumbest bank. I can see this being a textbook example of settlement risk (not to mention incredibly lax risk controls, automated systems or no) for years to come.

FT's Alphaville has posted a wickedly naughty, but oh-so-accurate, ballad detailing this week's events.

In other news, it's tough at the top:

Around 50% of the chief executives interviewed said they found the job “intensely lonely” and did not know who to turn to for advice. A common response was, “I can’t talk to the chairman because in the end he’s the one who is going to fire me. I can’t talk to my finance director because ultimately I’m going to fire him, and I can’t tell my wife because I never see her and when I do, that’s the last thing she’ll want to talk about.”

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber has pledged a pair of free tickets to see The Sound of Music or Joseph in the West End to any banker who was made redundant after September 1, 2008.

Err... wow?

So the Fed has decided to bail out AIG in return for an 80% equity stake in the insurer. Extraordinary times!

So now the question is... when exactly is a company too big to fail?

According to The Big Picture's post on The Terrible Lessons of Bear Stearns:

Go Big: Don't just risk your company, risk the entire world of Finance. Modest incompetence is insufficient -- if you merely destroy your own company, you won't get rescued. You have to threaten to bring down the entire global financial system. The fear and disruption caused by a Bear collapse is why it was saved. (AIG has the right idea on this)

It would seem I timed my return to the office on one of the most historic, and certainly the most unprecedented, day in the history of the financial markets (as an aside, I love the headline on the linked page).

Two of the Big Five investment banks gone in the space of a day. It's truly unbelievable, and the atmosphere in the office was one of stunned disbelief in the morning, followed by a frantic day at work as we continued to monitor the markets.

If you'd told me at the beginning of this year that three of the Big Five would have been taken over or gone bust, I would have laughed in your face and told you you were mad. But that's what's happened. Next up, AIG - not an investment bank, but might as well be one. The financial ramifications of a collapse of the largest American insurance company would be more far-reaching than the collapse of Lehman and Bear.

It's going to be another interesting day in the office. It makes me glad that I am now in London and able to witness these things as they unfold!

Happiness is coming home from the airport after feeling a little sad leaving the home you've grown up in and where most of your support system still is, landing 40 minutes later than scheduled and encountering an hour long immigration queue to find that your refrigerator has been stocked with ready meals and juice by your brother who has been patiently waiting in your flat to help you with your luggage, not because you're tired and ill with the flu, but simply because you're his little sister.

All right, Milo dinosaur, carrot cake, prawn mee, kaya buns, good Japanese food (Sushi Yoshida) and chicken rice can all be crossed off the list, as can the wagyu burger topped with foie gras from Brown Sugar (replacing the Astons' burger item).

I have also managed to partake of curry fish-head, liver soup and my mum's delicious watercress soup over the past few days.

My weighing scale still says I have not gained any weight. Strange. I think there must be something wrong with my scale!

I have been trying for close to a year now to get some CDs back from a "friend" who borrowed them more than two years ago. This person, while initially responsive, has now chosen to ignore all the messages I have sent her; more to the point, her phone number is no longer in use.

I know she's still around, as I've seen her tagged in photos on Facebook, and it galls me that she doesn't have the slightest shred of integrity to return my CDs to me, CDs which I spent several months looking for because they're quite rare and aren't sold in Singapore, CDs which I freely offered to lend her when she said she wanted to listen to them.

Perhaps she's one of those people who thinks that, simply because of the job I have, I can jolly well afford to repurchase them, even if they are rare, and more expensive than a mass-produced album. Be that as it may, the point remains: I should not have to do any such thing. Those CDs are mine, and if she continues to keep them without bothering to speak to me at all, then, she's nothing more than a thieving bitch. Plain and simple.

Freaking hell.

Ugh. I woke up today with a bad sore throat and the occasional sneezing fit. I hate falling ill while on vacation. :(

While being shown around Jakarta, our ever-accommodating friend played tour guide and told us about the ins and outs of the spa industry in Jakarta:

Excerpts:
Tour guide: So, spas are closed during fasting month, except for the spas which are located in hotels.
Friend 1: But we were recommended several spas which aren't in hotels and they seem to be open.
TG: That's why everything nowadays is called a hotel, even if they only have one room on the third floor.

(While talking about "happy endings")
TG: For the guys who still have some energy after dinner, you can go to Alexis Hotel - 7th floor of heaven.
(Alexis Hotel is also described by another web site as "not really a hotel, more like a bordello."

It's just the way our friend said the last phrase which made us laugh really hard.

The End is nigh!

And I only just attended AKA's 10th birthday party too!

First, the Cross, Canvas and the Egg, then Turnmills, Now, The End. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

What I did ate on my summer vacation:

• Dim sum (including proper char siu and siu yoke and char siu shou)
• Chilli crab (Kim's Place)
• Bak chor mee (Food Republic)
• Ngoh hiang (Food Republic)
• Iced Milo (Toast Box)
• Steamed egg (as only my mother can make it)
• 7-course Pleasure Lunch set (Xi Yan)
• Black Forest Valhrona Cake (Book Cafe)
• Deep fried soft shell crab with lots of garlic (Thai Express)
• Cookie Spin (Spinelli)
• Ban mian (Kopitiam)

As an added and unexpected bonus, half of these were eaten while accompanied by the boyfriend.

I feel like I should go on a one week no-eating break but I still have a few more on my list to tick off, namely, Milo dinosaur, carrot cake, prawn mee, Chin Mee Chin kaya buns and good Japanese food (to be tackled tomorrow). Optionals would include Sage, Pasta Brava, a steak or burger from Astons and chicken rice.

Of course, my mother's cooking trumps any of these any day, so that means I don't have much time left to tackle even the essentials on my list!

Saltwater and No Ordinary Morning are among my favourite dance music tracks of all time. So imagine my surprise upon finding out that Chicane, whom I thought had retired but I guess he decided to make a comeback, is being brought in by Chivas for a live set at the now-closed River Valley Pool on September 26, 2008 as part of the Chivas Live series of events at an admission cost of nada.

Wah lau!

Curse you, SIA. I am now addicted to Gossip Girl, having caught the awesome-as-heck pilot on the flight back to Singapore. It should be no surprise that the show, created by Josh Schwartz, given how much I loved The O.C. (also created by Josh) when it first came out.

In fact, it more than made up for my having caught the incredibly depressing In Bruges. The latter, while filled with great British actors, was definitely not the comedy the trailer made it appear.

Should I be worried that I'm growing older, but my taste in TV shows isn't changing?

Six flights in seven days. Such is the hectic nature that is my work. Well, I tell a lie. The sixth flight was a flight back home on the A380 which is really very nice and comfortable, even if I only managed less than four hours of sleep on a 13 hour flight.

It's good to be back home with all the creature comforts I've missed while living by myself.

It's also good to be back home for longer than "a flash" as a friend put it.