Conversation with a friend today:
Me: So I'm trying to think of a costume to wear given that I don't have much time.
Friend: Whatever you do, don't try painting your face like a pumpkin. I did that once and swear I won't do it ever again.
Me: What?! Ha ha! Well, I'm thinking of going as a policewoman or a cowgirl.
Friend: Those are so not Halloween. They're not scary.
Me: Okay, then. Maybe I'll go as a cockroach.

I've been a sort of good girl of late. Good, because I haven't been going out that much, and sort of, because instead of spending the hours at home studying, I've been spending them hunting down live sets and chatting on MSN.

In any case, to round off the good week I had last week - and hopefully will continue to have this week, and if not, well, I know I've the strength to handle anything that comes my way this time - I ventured out of the house for the first time yesterday at 9.25 pm to go to the Esplanade to catch my friend's band, JonDoe, perform. Man, they've improved a lot since the last time I saw them. They've got two singers now, instead of just my friend, and they work very well together. Iza sounded very much like Bob Marley during No Woman No Cry, while Nick aptly demonstrated his sense of humour and range during Knocking On Heaven's Door and the song after that, which I didn't know, but was told came from the '70s. As I'd been craving for some live music the whole week, this really helped. JonDoe is taking a break for a month or so after performing at Timbre and the Cool Deck at Sentosa over the last few months. If you ever get the chance to see them perform, do go. They're great fun.

After that, I somehow ended up at a house party near my place where a friend of a friend was spinning at. It wasn't exactly the best decision of the night, I feel, as the place was filled with SPGs and expats. I know I looked hot in my short black skirt, French Kitty baby doll T-shirt and my pink Playboy cap (yes, I felt that needed to be said), but still, there was no justification for the ang moh men that were standing near the door when we came in to look at us as if we were pieces of meat. Another thing about the party is that one of my clubbing acquaintances, younger than I am, and rather far-gone, came up to me and seemingly channelling the spirit of my good friend, S., who has since gone overseas to study, and told me that she felt I deserved better, which rather surprised me, given how I'd met her.

But yes, thank you. I know I deserve better. Not just in that particular aspect, but in almost everything else in my life, and this time, I'm going to make sure I go out and get them, and not get discouraged when setbacks occur.

In other news: book 2 down, 4 more to go. *sighs*

This is one of the sweeter gifs I've seen... and so true of real life. I've done this a couple of times myself.

Found in DeviantArt's excellent icon collection.

I'll be the first person to admit that I am a self-help sucker. I'll buy the books, I'll read the news articles, and I'll buy the magazines. Whether I manage to have time to read the books and then the energy to put them into practice is another thing all together.

And on that rather disgraceful note, I'm going to post a couple of career-related links.

• Career sites: For sites dealing specifically with careers, I've found Vault.com and CareerJournal are repositories of useful information, even if both are rather US-centric.
• The Motivating Power of Fear (New York Times): An article on how to make fear work for you, and not against you. It's rather coincidental I saw this today, given that I told an acquaintance just yesterday night that fears and phobias come with age. It's also good because I'm currently in a position where even though I'm looking for a change, I'm terrified at what that change would bring with it.
• Tips For Training Your Boss To Be A Better Manager (CareerJournal): Another interesting article on how you can foster better relations with your boss so that both he/she and you will benefit. It's definitely a different perspective on the usual "I hate my boss but there's nothing to be done but tahan" viewpoint that most people espouse.

On a more light-hearted note, here're two articles on office romances: a general overview on office romances in the US and the Vault.com success story. Surprisingly, the majority of workers surveyed admitted to dating their co-workers at least once. To me, an office romance has always been out of the question given the repercussions if it doesn't work out. Admittedly, given the hours I work, I don't tend to meet that many people other than co-workers. Still... no. Office romances = bad idea.

Over the last week or so, I've received praise from some of the senior managers I support on the work I do. One complimented the work I did, saying he appreciated all the things I've done, even though I don't work as much with him as some of my other colleagues, while other, after he had got wind of the fact that I'm looking around for a change, told me that he thought I was excellent at what I'm doing now, not to say that I should do it forever, and that it would be a shame if I left the company after working so long and so hard for it. Yet another unit head thanked me for giving a presentation to his team on something which I am the back-up on but most definitely am not the expert at with slightly less than 24 hours notice.

On the social front, a friend introduced me to one of his girlfriends, saying he thought we'd get on great together because we have similar personalities. Of course, usually that means we'd either love each other or hate each other, but in any case, I've yet to meet her in person, but only over e-mail. She told me that my friend told her that I was quite bright and very funny.

I'm not saying all of this to big up myself. It's just that I tend to be very harsh on myself, always focusing on my faults and failures, never really taking note of my own achievements and other people's praise. Whenever I do get praise, yes, it does make me happy, but only for a short while, and I'm quick to dismiss whatever I did well last time as just a fluke. In fact, in spite of the fair number of people who've told me that I've got what it takes to succeed in my rather pressurising company, I've often wondered what it is they see that I don't see, that they can't possibly be talking about me because who knows me better? Them or me?

Take into account the fact that I'm a person who needs to be told when she's doing a job right, who needs positive reinforcement in order to remain a happy camper, and you can see where there's a problem. How can I possibly remain a happy, contented worker in a high-pressure company if I don't believe in myself and I blame myself whenever anything goes wrong?

So yes, I acknowledge, I really do need to start taking other people's word that I do indeed do good work. And I do know it, but on some subconscious level, it doesn't really mean anything. I'm proud of the work I do for like five minutes, and then, wham, completely forget that I've done pretty damn excellent work given the time constraints and the importance of the work to my company.

It's time for a change.

And on that note, T. and I accidentally managed to catch the fireworks display that accompanied what appeared to be Tiger's launch of its new look and slogan (no longer "What Time Is It?" but seems to be "It's Time."). As least, I think it was the launch of its new marketing campaign, seeing as we saw giant Tiger logos flashing across the buildings across the river. It was a good surprise. Of course, it rained like anything about an hour or so later, and though I'm a little afraid of lightning, I really love rain. So drinking beer, sitting at a pub with interesting people (T.'s friends who we happened to run into), talking about things I know at least a little about while surrounded by pouring rain and loud crashing thunder... yes, it was a good way to round off the day.

While looking for information on the Above & Beyond gig that's taking place at Zouk KL tomorrow night, I stumbled across this horror:

Retro Retro DJ Competition @ Liquid

Inspired by their weekly Retro Retro night held every Wednesday, Liquid launches a DJ competition specifically held for the retro category, calling out to all talented and experienced DJs with a passion for tunes that have passed us, to come forward and claim the throne for timeless tunes. RM25 inc. 1 drink.

Why would anyone want to hold a competition for retro DJs, much less one that runs from November to January?! Don't get me wrong. I enjoy retro every once in a while, but to be quite honest, being a retro DJ isn't anything to be proud of. It doesn't require much skill at all.

I really hope no clubs in Singapore copy this concept. *shudders* Now, that is truly a scary thought. And right before Halloween too.

The last two days have been full of little surprises. And good ones at that.

Yesterday afternoon, I somehow managed to catch the shooting of one of the scenes for Krrish, the Indian movie that's currently being filmed in Singapore, at the Suntec fountain. Hrithik Roshan (or his stunt double, I'm not sure which), dressed in the black trenchcoat that is his outfit for most, if not all, of the movie, was suspended above the middle of the fountain, turning this way and that so that his trenchcoat would flap dramatically as the cameramen captured him from different angles. Then, all of a sudden, the powerful jet of water in the middle shot up, and Hrithik, rose just as quickly as the wires that were attached to him were raised. The timing was just right and it did look rather impressive.

This afternoon, I stumbled across the exhibition of Yann Arthus-Bertrand's La Terre Vue du Ciel (French for Earth From Above) photos located along Orchard Road. The exhibition hadn't been launched officially, going by the looks of things, but all the photos were available for display, and man, were they breathtaking. The first time I came across his work was when my parents purchased two of Yann's prints from the Earth From Above series, and since then, I've been a fan of his work. While all of the photos were incredible, the ones he took of Venice and Morocco caught my interest, the former because I love the patterns made by buildings when you look down on them from a height, the latter simply because I love the colours.

And sometime last night, I discovered the joy that is Mylo - In My Arms. Sampling vocals from Boy Meets Girl - Waiting For A Star To Fall and the bassline from Kim Carnes - Bette Davis Eyes, who would have thought something so '80s could sound so refreshingly original and so irresistably happy? As one review put it, it's the aural equivalent of the sun bursting out from a sky filled with dark clouds. Well done, Mylo!

I haven't been genuinely happy in a while. But because of these little discoveries, I am happy for the moment. And for now, that's enough.

Oooh. Matt Groening is the headline DJ for this week's Breezeblock. I've never heard him spin before (has anyone ever?) but it's obvious he likes his music going by the number of musical guest stars who've made appearances on episodes of The Simpsons.

And for the record, I don't think Futurama is that good. It certainly doesn't rate anywhere near The Simpsons, and I think the latter has suffered ever since Matt G. started on the former.

Just look at these great quotes from The Simpsons. How can you beat these?

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about
bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

And this never fails to make me howl.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (Lie detector blows up)

You can find more from this site.

I seem to have digressed a little. Anyway, I can't wait to get home and see what obscure rarities Matt spun.

This is a most amazing photograph. The colours are wonderfully vivid (especially the shades of blue in on the right side of the photo, which I have fallen deeply in love with), the contrast between the red and blue is beautiful and the dynamics captured... it's such a perfect photo that it's just mind-blowing.

Another equally amazing photo in this series is this one of a playing card.

Kudos to the guys at MIT for doing these. More photos here.

via BoingBoing.

While watching a 6-year-old boy play the drums outside Paragon yesterday:
Me: I'm jealous. I've always wanted to play the drums.
C.: Aiyah, the 'father' probably kidnapped the kid from Cambodia and is just using him to make money and meet babes. Then, when all this is over, he'll go home, throw the kid into a dark room and give him one slice of bread to eat and that's it.
Me: You're such an evil bastard. Look, the kid's eating something now...
C.: That's just for show. (in the kid's direction) Enjoy it while you can! Then... bread!

Earlier on in the day, I found myself playing with C.'s cow while sitting in his Alfa Romeo.
Me: It's so cute! Can I stick it in the window and make it dance at the other drivers?
C.: No. You can only do that if this were a Toyota. Don't ruin the image of Alfa Romeo drivers.

This was meant to be posted some time ago.

To those of you who came down or contacted me in some way just to see how I was, thank you. Thanks for letting me know that admitting I'm not fine and needing a listening ear and/or a shoulder to cry on aren't signs of weakness... and to the person who told me that being almost 25 doesn't have to mean that I should be able to handle everything that comes my way, thanks a lot. It means a lot knowing that there're people I can turn to.

To the one who said that I should never have gone out with
a) a person I met in a club
b) someone who wasn't Catholic
It's a good thing I've known you long enough to be able to tell that you meant well. Otherwise, long-distance call or not, I'd have (verbally) smacked you.

What would you say if I told you the only Catholic I've met that I fancied was someone I met while clubbing and who, in his own words, said "thank goodness for church. If it weren't for church, I'd still be a virgin"? And he had been an altar-boy, no less.

And if you even dare to venture that clubbing and being a good Catholic are mutually exclusive... don't even go there, buddy.

We're not all gems. And I stand by the 'mistakes' I've made and, no doubt, will continue to make. It'll be dishonest of me to say that I have no regrets, but if I had to do it all over again, I would.

Yes, I do realise that perhaps I expect too much and demand far too much from myself, and when I don't get what I hope to achieve, I can be very harsh on myself. I rarely seem to be able to accept that I did try my best and that perhaps, some things aren't meant to be. Maybe I will indeed be happier if I don't come down so hard on myself, but I put this to you: isn't lowering your expectations and demands to an achievable level akin to commiting the sin of mediocrity?

I don't know what's worst: always feeling a little down because you think you should be doing so much better than you currently are, or allowing yourself to be content with your lot when you're capable of achieving more.

Yes, I envy those people who seem to know exactly what it is they want in life, and know how they're going to get it, and in fact, are more than half-way there. (Oddly enough, this is exactly how one of my very good friends sees me.) They seem so secure, so confident that I find myself wondering, now how on earth will I ever be like them?

In spite of my accepting that, yes, I can and have been considered intelligent, capable, reliable, interesting, funny, nice, etc., there are many times in which I'm convinced someone will finally be on to me, and expose me for the fraud that I feel that I am, that I'm none of those adjectives mentioned earlier, and when push comes to shove, all I am is just this lost, insecure, unconfident, untalented, plain girl who has no idea what she wants, and even if she did, is far too tired and lazy to try and get it.

From James Holden's journal:

Thursday, June 30
i know it's wrong, but i really love the crazy frog. "you're a bit behind on this one james" says gemma. i don't care, he's my new favourite dj. sorry richie. (if you haven't seen the frog-dj advert, sorry..) he even has his djm-600 upside down.

Oh, James. How could you? Especially with your production skills?

Apparently, not having any alcohol in three weeks makes your alcohol tolerance go way down. And drinking on an almost empty stomach two nights in a row was most definitely not the brightest of ideas. So, a slightly hungover me (after a colleague's farewell drinks on Thursday night) went to Zouk's opening and drank copious amounts of alcohol (seven drinks coupons' worth in addition to some beer at the pre-clubbing session), left early at 1.45 am or so, walked back home, opened the door to my home... and the next time I remember is waking up in my bed at 5.30 am dressed in a T-shirt, apparently having managed to get only one of my contact lenses out. Yes, my memories of the last few hours are most definitely more than a little hazy.

Anyway, the main point of this post was to talk about Zouk, so I'll get on to it without any further digressions.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm impressed with the new Zouk. The soundsystem in the main room is good, while Phuture looks really flashy now, with an LED screen, a new bar and the fancy looking octopus chair inside. The igloo effect out in the corridor is a nice touch as well. But the main entrance to the club itself reminds me of the inside of a mushroom. "Looks a little like Zouk KL," remarked a friend, who was unhappy that Zouk would now look as if it were the sister club instead of the original. The main room looks pretty much the same. The toilets are now very much nicer, though, which is a good thing, even if they've been redone in the style of DXO's toilets, or as I said, "all of the big clubs in London." It is a nice style, so I don't mind if they're copying it as the previous version wasn't all that nice to begin with.

And, I have learnt, that it probably wasn't a good idea for me to go back to Zouk so soon, no matter how avid a clubber and how enthusiastic a Zoukette I am. Before Zouk closed, I used to spend pretty much every weekend there with T., and even before we got together, I'd still see him there. I guess it was a little too early, and perhaps because my hormones are such that I've been a little sensitive this whole week (guys, this is truly a girl thing which sometimes, we don't have that much control over), but during the pre-clubbing session at a friend's place, I found myself feeling a combination of lonely and missing T.. This was quickly alleviated by my drinking three drinks or so when I got to Zouk but unfortunately, exacerbated by the time I finished half my jug of Vodka sprite. Guess I overshot the optimal amount of alcohol to have when you're still on the tail end of mending a broken heart... which was demonstrated not only by my sending an SMS which I am now regretting (I wonder how on earth I managed to send that because I was so not in any capacity to have intellectual conversation, much less type such a long, clearly comprehensible SMS out) and by that long walk back home of which I have hazy memories of myself just crying most of the way back.

By the way, I actually am fine. I just have the occasional relapse. I acknowledge that I tend to take a long time to get over people, but I'm also not the kind of wallow in sadness and depression.

Why can't "The truth is, I still don't know what I want to do with my life, and it's likely I'll spend the next few decades trying to find out. But what I can promise you is this: I will work hard, and I will work the necessary long hours. I will give you my best as long as you give me the opportunity to prove that I can do this job" work as an interview answer?

I don't have any long-term career objective. At least, not in the sense that I have my whole future mapped out and know exactly how to get there. And yes, what I'm doing now is nowhere near my my idea of an ideal job, but I don't mind that I'll most likely never get that dream job. What I do know is that I enjoy certain aspects of what I do now and as long as I'm working alongside a good team of people, it's likely that I'll stay there long enough for you to get way more than your money's worth out of this workaholic.

I hate being female sometimes, never more so than at times like these. My stomach is cramping, both of my knees ache and my back hurts like anything. I'm feeling nauseated and to top it off, I'm sweating in my freezing office. I really feel like going home to rest, but I'm also feeling far too ill to move.

Yes. It's that time of the month again. But thankfully, symptoms as bad as today's seldom come along.

Skogskyrkogården cemetery, Stockholm (January 2001)

This is one of my favourite photos. I took it a few years ago when I visited the Skogskyrkogården cemetery in Stockholm, Sweden during winter. The guidebook I was using (Lonely Planet?) recommended it as an interesting place to visit, and as I had some time to kill, I decided, why not? It was my first visit to a cemetery ever, and thus began my hobby of visiting and taking photos of cemeteries I came across on subsequent trips to Europe (see previous post).

It wasn't a particularly dark morning, but for some reason, the photo came out as though I had taken it just as the sun was beginning to set. The park was very peaceful, and there was a wonderful harmony of functional architecture and nature; there was an abundance of pine trees, and the tombstones were neatly, but not disruptively, laid out amongst them.

Skogskyrkogården (Swedish for Woodland Park) was built between 1917 and 1920 by architects, Gunnar Asplund and Sigurd Lewerentz, who were awarded the job of designing and building the cemetery after an international competition was held. If I recall correctly, the gigantic cross in the photo was designed by Asplund.

Greta Garbo is buried here, although I didn't manage to find her grave the day I went. I did, however, manage to find the Woodland Chapel after an hour and a half of trekking amidst the snow, and happily wandered inside with my camera slung around my neck. To my surprise, and I'm sure to the surprise of the congregation inside, there was a funeral service going on and after a second or two of stunned silence, I turned around and beat a hasty retreat.

You can go to this site for a virtual tour of Skogskyrkogården.

Recently, I've been reminded that there were some places in the Czech Republic which I'd been meaning to go to, but missed during my trip to Prague in 2002. One of them was the lovely medieval town of Cesky Krumlov (a UNESCO World Heritage site), which we didn't manage to go to because my friends wanted to catch the England vs. Brazil World Cup game (yes, even while backpacking. England lost.). The other was Kutna Hora, another UNESCO World Heritage site and also the town which Kostnice Ossuary, a church made up entirely of human bones, is located in.

The Czech Republic is full of fascinating and strange sites, and one of my favourite memories of that trip is our visit to St. James' Church, where, legend holds that a thief attempted to steal a ring off the hand of the statue of the Virgin Mary in the church. The statue came to life and ripped the would-be thief's arm off for his transgression. As he lay bleeding on the floor, a monk came up to him and offered to heal him in return for his converting. The hapless thief agreed and was miraculously healed. Now why is this church fascinating? Because the thief's arm still hangs from a chain above the doorway to this day. Yes, that's right. A 500-year-old blackened arm bone.

Another place I visited was the cemetery at Vysehrad. My boyfriend at the time, P., wanted to visit Antonin Dvorak's grave and get a picture for a good friend of his, Dvorak's grandson, who had never been to the grave. We spent an enjoyable afternoon wandering around the tombstones, looking for the grave, and took the photo, and went off to have dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant. After dinner, as we were making our way back to the rail station which would take us back to the town centre, fireworks lit up the sky (for what occasion, I still don't know), and P. pulled me close for a passionate kiss.

As you may have surmised from this entry, the travel bug has returned. It's been too long since I had a proper holiday, and even longer since I had a holiday with proper travel companions.

I'll stop posting excerpts and links from other people's sites soon, but right now, just bear with me.

These are just too good and too cool to resist.

• Useful: If your Mandarin is anywhere as shite as mine is, then you're in need of some serious help. Try ChinesePod where you can learn Chinese with free daily podcasts. It's geared more towards beginners and hopeless people like me.

• Funny: Read The Ones That Were Wrong For Me, a sweetly amusing blog entry on the wacky world of dating, by Joe. My. God. Both links via Little. Yellow. Different.

• Music: A list of the top 101 and 100 Love Songs by Flamepillar and Mike respectvely on Epinions. The obvious tracks such as Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me and U2 - All I Wand Is You as well as U2 - With or Without You figure here. There're also some nice inclusions are Everything But The Girl - Single and Michelle Branch - Find Your Way Back.
  

• Movies I'm looking forward to: Elizabethtown, in spite of mediocre reviews and one rather sweet one (which is the one which sold me on this film), and Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. It's Wallace & Gromit! Need I say more?

Excerpts from Nerd Porn Auteur by Ernest Cline (via Boing Boing):

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework,
and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
for hours and hours
until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Summa cum laude, baby!
That is what I call erotic.

And another:

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
beat them repeatedly at chess
and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies
because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
of all sexual orientations.
Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This track can be downloaded from Ernest Cline's home page.

In entertainment news:

• Take That are reuniting for a Christmas special. Ah, what sweet memories. I loved Take That back when I was in secondary school. I still recall the day they announced their split, and what I was doing at that point in time (I was in my dad's car, going to the dentist to have my braces checked).
• A fire has swept through the Wallace & Gromit warehouse, destroying sets from A Grand Day Out, The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave as well as Chicken Run. What a shame! I really love Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run was a delight to watch (especially the chickens jiving to Flip, Flop and Fly!). Nick Park is incredibly creative, and the jokes he comes up with are hilarious. Still, being the dear man that he is, he said (in light of the South Asian earthquake), "Even though it is a precious and nostalgic collection and valuable to the company, in light of other tragedies, today isn't a big deal."

In other news,

• Must biology punish those women who dare to be free?: "Listening to these voices of doom, women may feel that despite all the attempts at changing society made by women, we have now come up against the biological imperatives that will always lock us out of the freedom and equality we desire. We cannot just wish away women's vulnerability to attack by men, women's shorter fertility span or the neediness of young children."
  
• What words to include in your job application: "Achievement", "Active", "Developed", "Evidence", "Experience", "Impact", "Individual", "Involved", "Planning" and "Transferable skills".
• Dirty dancing isn't protected by the First Amendment: A woman was banned from a local club in December 2000 because of her lewd dancing. She claimed the ban was unconstitutional because it fell under the First Amendment. The court ruled that only professionals are allowed to dance dirtily, not just any Tom, Dick or Harry doing it for personal enjoyment. However, it's getting a second look because she - and not her partner - was banned. "If you're going to accuse somebody of dirty dancing with somebody else, it's probably not a good idea to just charge one of them," said her lawyer.

I Am A: Lawful Good Elf Mage Ranger

Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Deity:
Mystra is the Neutral Good goddess of magic. She is also known as the Lady of Mysteries. Followers of Mystra wear armor and carry shields with her symbol on them. Mystra's symbol is a ring of stars.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

And to go along with this, find out how to be a successful evil overlord (via Mr. Brown).

Michael Buble was great last night. I found him to be talented, friendly, sincere and funny. As I was all alone at the concert, I half-expected to find myself feeling melancholy and lonely, but thankfully, that wasn't the case. In fact, when he sang two of my favourite songs, You Don't Know Me and Home, I just sat there, swaying, eyes half-closed with a silly, contented smile stuck on my face.

Michael was also warm and interacted with the crowd quite a bit, at one stage, dashing down from the stage to run all the way up to the other end of the stadium, because he felt sorry for them as the stage was so far that he must look like an "ant" to them (and me, seeing as that was where I was sitting).

He kicked off the show with Feeling Good and I must say that his rich baritone played arpeggios (if that's the right word) up and down my spine. If I'd been dancing the blues with him, by the end of the song, I would have been begging him to take me. That's how hot and sexy he sang it. Right after that, he turned up the tempo by launching into Sway, a song which the crowd clearly loved. I enjoyed it too though I prefer the Pussycat Dolls' version.

One of the more amusing parts of the night was when he thanked all of us for coming, especially the men, who he guessed would much rather have stayed home watching television. However, as he put it, if he and his band did their job right, then all they'd be doing is "putting the air in the tires and [the men] could ride them all night". Heh. Later on, when he told us that he didn't mind us taking photos, not only did he and his band pose, he and another band member then decided to "act like sexy tigers who would attack the cameras" (said in dodgy Dutch accent). I laughed pretty hard at that.

But the funniest part of the night had to be when he declared he hated singing standards and wanted to try something new. First, he launched into an operatic version of I Will Survive, before stopping after two lines. Then, he sang This Love, sounding exactly like Adam Levine from Maroon 5 and ended off with the first verse of Billie Jean - sounding like Michael Jackson!

Towards the end of the concert, he asked all of us to get up and shake our little "money makers", that is, if we wanted to, of course. I was sorely tempted to when I heard his Latinised version of Save The Last Dance For Me (has it always had such a Latin beat?) but, being all alone, and having my bags to look after, I decided against it.

The concert was an hour and a half long, including the encore which consisted of Crazy Little Thing Called Love and A Song For You. While we all knew he had a strong voice, Michael demonstrated it by singing the last verse of A Song For You without the microphone and I could hear him loud and clear from where I was sitting, even though I was seated quite far away.

At the end of the night, even though I had to wait more than half an hour to get onto the bus, there was still a silly smile on my face, with Home playing in my head. I hadn't been genuinely happy in a while and the concert was well worth the money I paid just for the effect it had on me.

Cracking the Science of Undies
From ABC Online

By tweaking both fabric technology and garment design, scientists with a passion for creating better underwear have made at least four great strides over the past decade. First, they've recruited your underwear in the fight against bodily wetness and odour. Second, they've found some ingenious ways to make underwear fit and feel much better on the body. Third, they've discovered new ways to make underwear behave itself and stay put all day. Finally, they are implanting technological devices into your undergarments, so your bra or briefs can actually monitor your body's activities and take steps to protect you when your undies sense something is wrong!

Miscellaneous Family Anecdotes

My brother and I are saying hello to my father's friend, who simply cannot remember our names.
Dad's friend: Hey boy. Hey girl.
Brother: (starts making bass & beat noises) Superstar DJ! Here we go!

My brother and I are looking at various company names and come across one which includes the initials "CSI".
Brother: Don't do it.
Me: Do what?
Brother: Just don't!
Me: (innocently) What? (short pause before singing) "Who are you? Who-who-who-who?"
Brother: I knew it! I knew you'd do that!

Dad: What? Of course I'm a kind and gentle person.
Me: Yes. Dad's as gentle as a little lamb... (in a whisper to my brother) with rabies.

"I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. I can't breathe, Will. I feel like I can't breathe."
- Buffy (Season 3: The Prom)

As moving and as accurate a description of heartbreak that anyone could ever give.

And no, it's not just the break up that's making me grieve; it's more to do with something I had no desire to write about until it was over, for fear of belittling it unintentionally while trying to cope. More to the point, I was afraid that if I wrote about it, it would happen.

My grandmother passed away today, six weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. She lived a rich, full life and was hale and hearty up until the time she was diagnosed, and that's a lot more than what some others get. Thankfully, she got to see all of her children and most of her grandchildren while she was still lucid. And we're all very grateful she didn't suffer.

And while I know I'll be okay after some time and though I like to think that all of this is happening in my life now because God knows I'm tough enough to cope with all of this, right now... it feels as if I can't breathe.

Moving on...

adopt your own virtual pet!

Sigh.

I attended two friends' weddings (or rather, one post-ROM party and one wedding) this weekend.

For the first, I've noted how amazingly happy my friends (yes, the rare case where I know both members of the couple equally well) have been ever since I got to know them about a year ago, and I'm incredibly happy (not to mention very surprised given that I'm from the school that produces unmarriageable girls, hence we don't tend to marry all that young) that those two have taken the plunge.

Being the unusual couple that they are, their post-ROM party was held at Victor's Superbowl, with copious amounts of drinks and a fair amount of karaoke present. It's possibly the only such party I'll go to where the owner of the cafe kicks off the karaoke by dedicating Lobo - How Can I Tell Her (a song about a man cheating on his other half and also a song I despise because of its wimpy chorus) to the happy couple. And if that wasn't inappropriate enough, the owner followed it up with the next song, Rod Stewart - I Don't Want To Talk About It. It's also one which I was coerced into singing, and while I did it well (how could I not? I'd been listening to the Everything But the Girl cover for the last few days.), it also triggered off a mini-post-break-up-funk especially since the now ex arrived shortly before the song began. But he and I will be okay (I hope). We haven't told our friends about it just yet though, because, as the song goes, I don't want to talk about it.

And in another aside, the only person I've told this to in person is, strangely enough, a guy formerly known as "my perfect guy", who just so happened to call me up to ask me out the day after T. and I broke up. He still makes me laugh, and in a touching little moment (no, don't worry, I'm so not going into a rebound relationship - this guy's burnt me enough), told me he hadn't seen me happy in a while, and to call him if I need anything. I've now got a total of three guys who've asked me to call them if I need anything this week - all friends though. This is really giving additional weight to my theory that I make a great friend, and not a good girlfriend.

Anyway, on to to second wedding. When I saw all the preparation that had gone into my friend's wedding reception, I remarked, "with all this hassle, it really makes you think, why do people want to get married?" Don't get me wrong. I am a cynic, yes, but I do want to get married some day (whether I actually get married is a whole 'nother ballgame)... But seeing how elaborate everything was and how many people were there (how on earth do people find so many people to invite? I think were I to get married here and now, I'd only have enough guests for four tables!), the amount of planning involved just freaked me out.

However, witnessing my friend reading her wedding vows in a voice trembling with happiness and tears answered all of my questions .

So, here's to you, K. and P., V. and J. Congratulations!